Eyes Wide Open (The Blackstone Affair #3)(42)
Author: Raine Miller

I lost it. Completely and totally, and for the goddamn zillionth time. Tears, sobs, hiccups—the whole nine yards. Ethan got the deluxe emotional package from me tonight. Poor guy.

My outburst didn’t seem to faze him, though, as he took charge, putting me back into bed, sliding in alongside me and drawing me close. He drew his fingers through my hair and just held me for a long time with no more demands, no questions or inquiries. He let me be, offering his comfort and strength generously without the prospect of anything in return.

He was thinking. I could hear the cogs grinding around inside his head as he pondered me. Ethan did that quite a bit, actually, the thinking without saying anything.

I was too, though. I remembered something Dr. Roswell had said to me more than once. Whenever I expressed my fears about the future, she said: “You’ll get through one step at a time, one day at a time, Brynne.”

Another cliché, yes, but one that was spot-on true, as Ethan liked to say sometimes. Spot-on true.

I’ll get through this one step at a time, and Ethan will be here to help me.

“It is enough, Ethan,” I whispered. His fingers stilled in my hair. “It is enough for me. You are enough.”

Ethan kissed me, gentle and soft, his tongue slipping inside to tangle around lazily like there wasn’t a care in the world for us right now. I felt his palm sweep down to rest low on my belly and he held it there, warm and protecting.

“We’re gonna be okay, baby. I know we are. All three of us.”

I buried my face in his chest and nuzzled. “When you say it, I believe you.”

“It will. I know this.” He lifted my face up and tapped his head with his finger. “I have visions, just like you have those super powers of deduction that you told me about once.” He gave me a wink.

“Really.” I added some sarcasm, just so he’d know I was over my snit about the wedding and could go back to acceptance.

“Yup. You, me and our little blueberry will have our happily ever after.”

I had to shake my head at him. “We don’t have a blueberry anymore.”

He feigned shock. “What happened to blueberry? Don’t tell me you ate it.”

“You idiot.” I nudged him in the ribs. “Blueberry is now raspberry.”

“Where are you getting this information?” he asked, one eyebrow quirking up.

“Website called Bump dot com. You should check it out. It’ll tell you everything you need to know about fruits and vegetables.”

He laughed. “I love when you play with me,” he said, taking my chin. “Especially when I can see the light in your eyes and you look happy. It’s all I really want. You to be happy with me, about us, our life together.”

“You do make me happy, Ethan. I’m sorry about how I am lately. A hormonal wreck crying over everything, moping, being difficult, ugh . . . I hate the sound of myself even apologizing to you right now.”

He shook his head. “Nope. We’ll have none of that. You don’t need to apologize, baby. All you need to do is agree to the announcement of our engagement. I wrote it out today. It’s ready to go.”

He looked so earnest in his request, and I realized in that moment the time for avoiding my fears about marriage, a baby, the stalker, everything that scared me, really, was definitely over. Going forward was the only option now.

“Okay. I’m ready.”

“You are?” Ethan looked more than a little surprised. “Just like that, you’re now ready?”

“Yeah. I am. I know you love me and I know you will take care of us. I finally admitted to myself with Dr. Roswell that I need you. I love you and I need you.” I cupped one side of his face with my hand. “Let’s do it.”

I got one of those spectacular and rare Ethan smiles that made it all worth it. I did indeed love making this man happy. It filled something in me, made me feel warm inside.

“We need to tell our parents and families. How do you want to break the news?” he asked softly.

“Hmmm . . . good point.” I looked at the bedside clock reading one o’clock in the morning. “How about now?” I said.

“Now?” He looked unsure for a moment before he figured it out. “You want to tell your dad first.” I could tell he was doing mental calculations. “It’s five o’clock on a Friday, do you think you can get ahold of him?”

“I’m pretty sure I can. Get dressed.”

“Huh?”

I slipped out of bed and started pulling on yoga pants and a T-shirt. “I want to Skype him and tell him that way.” I smirked, feeling pleased with my idea. “I doubt he’d appreciate hearing he’s going to be a grandfather with you naked on Skype looking like you do right now,” I said with a long, measured look over his bare, muscled skin, “so get dressed, please. I can guarantee he’ll want to talk to you once I tell him what you’ve done to me.”

 “Princess, you look so pretty. I love seeing your face on here. To what do I owe this honor, and what in the hell are you doing up at one a.m.?”

I grinned at my dad and actually got butterflies in my stomach at the prospect of telling him our news. Somehow I knew he would be happy for me. He’d never judged me in the past, and he wouldn’t now. “God, I miss you. I would give anything to have you right in front of me for this, Daddy.” My handsome dad had a pool towel around his neck and wet hair.

“I just did forty laps, and it felt great. My weekend is off to a good start. The weather’s been so nice for the pool. Wish you were here to enjoy it with me.”

“Me too. Are you taking your blood-pressure pills like you’re supposed to?”

“Of course I am. I’m in great shape for an old codger.”

“Oh, please, you’re about the furthest you can get from being a codger, Dad. When I imagine an old guy, you’re definitely not it. I even got a message from Jess on Facebook telling me how she sees you at the gym and how adorable you are. You must have to scrape the ladies off you when you work out.”

He laughed and brushed my comment away. I always wondered about that part of his life. He never talked about dates or women, so I really didn’t know much. He had to get lonely sometimes. Humans weren’t meant to be alone. I wished he could find someone who made him happy.

“Jess is a sweet girl. We talk mostly about you, Brynnie. You didn’t answer my question either. Why are you up so late?”