Vampires Need Not…Apply? (Accidentally Yours #4)(15)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Baby bootees.”

“Oh, perfect. I can make some for Penelope and Kinich.” She grabbed a pair of needles from a basket in the center of the circle and plopped down in an open seat. Gods, her hair was itchy. “Mind if I take this off?”

No one objected, so she did.

The women gasped.

“Dear,” said the woman with the cat hair garnish, “you are exquisite. And those eyes, they’re… stunning.”

Ixtab squirmed in her chair. She didn’t like it when people looked at her that way, with admiration. Simply put, she didn’t deserve to be revered. Yes, it was true that being worshipped was one of the perks of being a god or goddess. In fact, many deities thrived on it. Fate, for example, wouldn’t last a day without having someone light a candle in her honor. But Ixtab didn’t want to be adored; she wanted to be good. “You’re only complimenting me because I’ve compelled everyone here. If you knew the real me, you and your walker would be ten blocks away already. I am about as ugly as they come.” On the inside, anyway.

Her mind quickly flipped to her beloved Francisco. Perhaps that is why she’d loved him so much. He made her feel beautiful on the inside and worthy for the first time in her existence. It was a feeling she missed more than she cared to admit. If only second chances truly existed.

Ixtab suddenly felt the urge to see that physicist again.

No. Didn’t you learn your lesson? Stay away from him—you’ll only end up killing the guy, and we need him to stay alive and work on the tablet. Not to mention… he’s the Latin lover poster boy!

“Does anyone have yellow yarn?” Ixtab asked. “I don’t want to give away the baby’s sex. Better if it’s a surprise.”

That’s right. Stick to knitting and your work. No physicist.

Yet somehow she knew the situation with Antonio Acero was just getting started. Because that’s how the Universe rolled.

Chapter Ocho

January 13

Despite missing his cat and being unable to see, Antonio’s arrival home one week earlier hadn’t been nearly as difficult as he’d thought. After the visit from the mysterious woman in the hospital, his dismal outlook on the world had shifted. He knew he could tackle any obstacle despite the impossibility of this situation. Yes, he was happy. Genuinely happy.

Perhaps she was an angel?A really, really mean angel.

Antonio slipped on his favorite black sweater and black jeans. At least he thought they were black. He hadn’t had time to work with his new assistant to organize his closet since they’d been spending every waking hour learning basic braille—mostly numbers.

In any case, he decided he’d go out for his first walk today. Just around the block to clear his head. Although the woman from his dreams continued haunting him every hour of the day and he still believed she was his destiny, the key to everything, he couldn’t stop obsessing over that cruel, yet mesmerizing banshee from the hospital. He fantasized what she might look like. Was she a leggy blonde with the slim frame of a runway model? Or a curvy Latina with full br**sts, the sort of br**sts a man could lose himself in? No matter. If that voice were any indication, she had to be the most gorgeous creature to walk the planet. The mere thought of seeing her again created a sense of bliss until he wondered if she would want him. A blind man.

Forget about her. The woman from your dreams is your destiny. You must focus on that.

This fantasy woman had appeared with the tablet, and the tablet had been the answer to his prayers. Yes. It was true; he was a man of science, but his faith… that was what carried him. Perhaps it had something to do with being brought up in Spain, perhaps it was that he and his brother were raised by Kirstie the maid, an overly superstitious gypsy woman with an addiction to borscht, but the likely answer was that science couldn’t guarantee salvation from his problems or deliver freedom. Faith was all he truly had.

So you have faith the woman from your dreams will help you. But shouldn’t you at least attempt to find the woman from the hospital first? She saved your life.

Yes. That would be exactly what he would do. He would find her and thank her.

And bed her.

Dammit, coño. Do you ever stop?

But what was there to say? His c**k moved into a state of high alert each time he thought of the cruel woman.

Of course, that had nothing to do with why he wanted to find her. No, señor. Not. At. All.

* * *

“Kinich, you have to keep trying!” Ixtab watched her brother pace back and forth across his living room.

“I cannot break the urge,” he growled. “It doesn’t matter what I do. Each time I open that vial, I drool like a rabid dog. Belch’s ball sweat has no deterring effect whatsoever.”

“You didn’t actually drink any, did you?” Ixtab asked.

“No. But I wanted to. If Penelope walked into this room right now, I’d tear out her throat. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.”

“How are you around other humans?” she asked.

He shrugged. “No issues. Not even the innocent who smell of cotton candy tempt me. I’ve been sticking to a steady diet of bagged blood without issue.”

Hmmm. It was normal for a vampire to become crazed for blood when they first woke, as he had with Penelope, but this was different; he continued to lose control only for her. Vampires didn’t have person-specific cravings. They were either in control or they weren’t.

Something about this situation didn’t feel right.

Dammit all to hell! She wished the vampires would come back from holiday so she could consult with one of them. Maybe they’d know what to do? And how exactly did an entire race simply up and take a vacay—to frigging Euro Disney, no less!—when they knew how critical they were to the line of defense? But no! Mickey, Goofy, and vampire law were clearly more important than saving the world. Adding insult to injury, they weren’t even carrying cell phones! Oh no, because according to Helena—who’d texted her—they were spending their days on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Wouldn’t want to get their phones wet. Gods forbid. Because they were all so broke and would never be able to afford new ones.

Cheap bastards.

Oh! Vampires are icky number five: they are too obsessed with managing their money.

Well, they do live a really, really, realllly long time.

Okay. Fair nuff. Strike that last one.

“Well,” she offered, “Penelope sent a few Uchben to hunt down Viktor—maybe he’ll have a few suggestions.” Viktor, a thousand-year-old Viking vampire, had just about seen it all. That included Cimil’s bed. It was a miracle he survived actually, and lucky he did because he’d very recently found his mate. Ironically, she was Penelope’s mother. Confusing? Oh yeah. Throw in the fact that Penelope’s mother was a fallen angel—well, they had themselves a regular paranormal telenovela. Univision had nothing on them.