Vampires Need Not…Apply? (Accidentally Yours #4)(48)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Well, this time her body wasn’t suffering from a blow to the ribs, but from another blow to her heart, mind, and soul. Because when the Universe decided to roll with a doozy—i.e., producing the most improbable outcome thinkable—well, the bitch had flair. Fucking Universe.

Ixtab slowly rose to face Antonio’s brother.

“Let me guess,” he said, “Antonio didn’t tell you about me?”

Ixtab cleared her throat. “No.” The word still came out scratchy.

The man bobbed his head and produced an arrogant smirk. A beautiful, arrogant smirk. “Yes. He’s learned the hard way that telling women he has an identical twin isn’t the smartest move.”

Ixtab shook her head slowly. “N-n-no. I suppose it’s not.” How could you, Universe? How? You made two copies of Francisco? Come! On! Goddamned, dramawhore!

Wait. Hold your whoreses! This situation could no longer fall into the quirky-way-of-the-Universe category. There were two men who closely resembled the man she once loved and snubbed out? This situation had officially become an “Oh, hell no!” Something unearthly was going on.

But what the heck was it? She didn’t have a crumb of a deity inkling.

Hmmm… Cloning?

No. Francisco died long ago before any technology existed to store DNA.

Hmmm…

Space aliens were stealing her memories and using them to create people suits to live inside?

No. The gods had put a stop to that little cluster of a situation last year, after those Cimilites (yes, yes, they named their damned planet after her—idiots) were discovered. One would think such an advanced civilization would have been more careful to not get caught. And know that there’s only enough space in the Universe for one Lady Gaga.

No, señor, something else had to be going on. What was it?

Ixtab sighed and looked the man over. He was absolutely gorgeous. The same dark green eyes, powerfully built frame, and olive skin. Only this identical version had delicious waves of dark, jaw-length hair, wore plain khaki pants and a white polo. He was also warm and full of life.

Human. Ixtab sighed. He was lovely.

“Oh, gods,” she whispered. “Please don’t tell me your name is… Francisco.”

Antonio’s brother laughed. “Yes, it is. How did you know?”

Well, that explained the man tantrum Antonio had in Bacalar.

He walked over to Ixtab and held out his hand. “My family calls me Franco for short. Francisco is what we call my father.”

Ixtab’s pulse thumped away at a million immortal miles an hour. His father? Okay. Her goddess alarm went to DEFCON one. This situation screamed supernatural conspiracy, though she couldn’t figure out what could possibly be happening.

She looked at Franco. Yes, he was identical to Antonio in every way. Would she be able to touch him, too? The possibility tumbled loudly in her head like a pair of sneakers in a dryer. Then she looked down at Franco’s outstretched hand. She knew she shouldn’t, but she felt entranced, as if in a bizarre dream or an alternate universe. She slowly lifted her hand to shake his.

“Don’t f**king touch her.” Antonio moved quicker than the eye and swiped Franco’s arm away.

Ixtab’s moral compass snapped into place. Holy crap. What had she been thinking? She cupped her hands over her veiled face. “Ohmygods, I’m so sorry.”

You’re in shock. Yes, hot-man shock. Oh, please don’t let me see doubles. Please don’t let me see doubles. Of the doubles. Because that would be a little too ABC Family teen special.

Franco turned and snarled at his brother. “Qué? Qué me dijiste?”

“You heard me.” Antonio bellied up to his brother and growled in his face. “Don’t,” he said in low, quiet, menacing sort of way. “Touch. Her. Don’t ever touch her.”

Franco laughed. “Calm the hell down, coño. I’m not going to steal her from you.” He looked at Ixtab and studied her as if attempting to decipher if what lie hidden beneath the shroud was worth competing for. Then he flashed a wicked little smile and added, “Yet.”

Uh-oh. That meant, “Game on.” Ixtab stepped back, waiting for the boy explosion. And shockingly, some sick, twisted part of her wanted to block out the perturbing details of the situation and instead focus in on a little fantasy involving mud. Goddesses had their pervy little twin fantasies, too.

“You’ll have to excuse my brother’s poor manners,” Franco said. “I’m afraid we have a long history with women. If you’re staying for dinner, perhaps I’ll get the chance to tell you all about it.”

Ixtab felt oddly annoyed. She didn’t want to hear about any other women in Antonio’s life.

“She’s not staying,” Antonio growled.

“I’m not?” Ixtab retorted.

“No,” Antonio replied.

“Says who?” she asked. “Last time I checked, I superseded you on the evolutionary totem pole.” And she wasn’t going anywhere until she got to the bottom of whatever the hell was going on.

Antonio’s eyes narrowed and his face turned a pissy shade of red.

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds to quarrel alone.” Franco winked at Ixtab. “I hope we meet again.”

“Don’t count on it,” grumbled Antonio, watching his brother leave.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me you had an evil twin?”

Antonio studied her. “He’s not evil.”

“Well, he doesn’t seem like the nicer version of you.”

Antonio rubbed his brow. “He is angry with me for not being here sooner. That is all.”

“Okay. So he’s not your evil twin. Point for Antonio. Now why the hell didn’t you tell me about him?” she asked.

“Why would I?”

“Well… well, I guess—I don’t know. Normally humans tell everyone such unique tidbits about their lives. They can’t help it; it makes them feel special.”

Antonio shrugged. “I’m not human; I’m a vampire.”

“Don’t start. Why were you hiding this? What aren’t you telling me?”

“I’m not hiding anything.” His body went rigid.

“Then why are you suddenly cloaked in a cloud of bloated cockiness? For the record, bloated cockiness is the same as cockiness, but without the legitimacy factor. Kind of like when a really stupid person tells you how they rock at Jeopardy! when you know that isn’t the case.”