Vampires Need Not…Apply? (Accidentally Yours #4)(52)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“How?” the demon cackled. “Obviously I hid. Quite successfully, I might add.”

“Your bodies don’t last,” she argued. Unlike the gods, the soul of a demon is corrosive to their humanlike shells. Over time, they wither away and die. And without their portals, the demons weren’t supposed to make new bodies or be able to travel back to their realm, leaving their souls simply in limbo for all eternity. That had been the plan, anyway.

Unless… “You found a way to make hosts?” she asked.

He smiled and displayed his brownish-yellow teeth. “More like… offspring. Your sister Cimil was more than willing to help me for the right price. I like her; she’s quite the evil one, isn’t she?”

Cimil? Oh no. This was bad. Really, really bad. She’d been the one in charge of exterminating the demons to begin with. And what did he mean exactly by “offspring.”

“Are you trying to tell me—”

“Exactly! Francisco, the original Francisco, was one of the first. It was fate that I took over his body after you’d fallen in love with him. The way you looked at me with your adoring eyes—I’d never experienced such pleasure and knew I had to have you for my own. No matter how long it took. I am on body number eight, by the way.”

Dirty, rotten bastard took Francisco’s body and pretended to be him? Poor, poor Francisco. He had been a kind, selfless, purehearted man. He hadn’t deserved to have his life stolen like that.

“For the record,” she spat, “that look of adoration wasn’t meant for you.”

He flicked his wrist in the air. “Are you certain about that? Are you certain a tiny part of you didn’t see me for who I truly was during those few days we were together? Because if I recall correctly, you said you loved me.”

Oh, gods, she had said it. But she’d thought she was talking to Francisco and not some horrible, disgusting demon. Why hadn’t she noticed the change? How could she have been so blind?

Ixtab hit pause to digest what it all meant, then hit a cold, hard wall. Who could possibly make sense of all this? The man she once loved had his body hijacked by an incubus who’d survived the banishment of his race with the help of the deity who was supposed to have killed him: Cimil. Cimil also helped him figure out how to find new bodies to live inside. And to top off Ixtab’s crap fiesta, she now had genuine feelings for another of the demon’s offspring, but Antonio believed he was destined to be with portal woman (species unknown). All the while, they were supposed to be figuring out how to open the portal so they could free Guy and Niccolo in order to prevent the apocalypse—prophesied by Cimil.

Don’t forget, the entire vampire army is on furlough in Euro Disney and we’re sitting ducks until they return. Which they wouldn’t do until Niccolo was free and able to amend the law.

The entire situation was bizarre and unbelievable enough that only one explanation existed: Cimil. Yes, all sick-and-twisted signs pointed to this being her handiwork.

“Ya. That kooky Cimil.” Ixtab chuckled sarcastically. “She’s a wacky, evil goddess, that one. Always surprising everyone with her fun little pranks. So, what was her wacky price to let you live?”

He smiled again. His tongue was a grayish green. She wanted to yack. “Let’s say I had something she wanted. A useless relic I came across during my travels.”

Relic? He can’t possibly mean… “It wouldn’t happen to have been a tablet?” It wasn’t a question, but a realization.

“No,” he replied quickly.

“You’re lying, aren’t you?” Demons were notorious liars.

“Yes.”

Crapola. “And now you’re telling the truth, aren’t you?”

“No.”

Ugh. So frustrating. “You just lied again, didn’t you?”

He smiled. “Yes.”

How could she have possibly said, “I love you,” to this… horrible, frustrating, icky demon? How? How? How? Oh, gods, she’d never forgive herself. The humiliation would haunt her for another two centuries.

The worst part was how she’d been so judgmental of vampires! She’d actually thought they were icky. But this guy? Hell, there was nothing lower or more disgusting on the planet. She needed to put an end to him.

Vampires rock! Reason number one: they are not incubi.

But isn’t Antonio an…?

Oh no. No!

“So, Antonio is really your…” She cleared her throat. “… Son?”

“Yes. But he’s not a true incubus.”

Oh, thank heavens. I’m still getting over the whole liking vampires thing.

“My offspring are mostly human,” he explained, “with just enough of my DNA to provide my light a happy safe home for a while. Cimil was also kind enough to throw in some magic so my male offspring continue to look like Francisco. I know you enjoyed my face, so I kept it for you.”

Oh, yippee. “You wouldn’t happen to want to tell me how you do it?” Because I’m so going to put an end to your shenanigans.

“No.”

This time, she knew he told the truth; demons loved to keep secrets.

“How about giving me some reason not to Tweet my peeps the deets?” she asked. “I could have your sons locked up and prevent you from making more Franciscitos. When your current body goes, you’ll have nowhere to hide.”

He chuckled with victorious, evil glee. “Do you really think Antonio and Franco are my only children? I have others, many others; although they are female—not my preference—but I could survive, if need be.”

“Please don’t tell me your daughters also look like Francisco because that would be so very wrong.”

“Ixtab, I’m wounded. Do you truly believe I am that cruel?” the incubus asked.

“Um. Yeaaah,” she replied. “You’re a demon. Remember?”

Hack, hack. “Excellent point,” he replied.

Well, nothing she could do about a bunch of ugly, burly, part-incubus chicks running around the planet, although she was curious to see what a family reunion might look like.

Ixtab shivered.

In any case… dang it! This demon was good at risk mitigation. It was almost like he’d anticipated this.

Cimil! “Cimil knew this would happen and warned you, didn’t she?” Ixtab asked.

“No.” His eyes glowed with psycho joy.

Ugh. He just lied again.

Hate. Demons. Hate them.