Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding #2)(24)
Author: K.A. Linde

She wanted to ruin Bekah. She wanted to object in front of everyone that these two individuals were fit for marriage. When asked on what grounds, she was capable of giving so many different answers: infidelity, lust, greed, manipulation, lies…the list was endless. And these were all attributes that the mass crowd that would be present would be unaware of. It would be a triumphant beautiful moment for Lexi.

Chyna hadn’t thought so. Even without knowing all the details, Chyna had disagreed with the idea. Her logic was probably right at least. She might be destroying Bekah and Jack, but to what end? Did it make her any better than Bekah to destroy something and in front of everyone? Lexi had tried to block out those questions. She had never stooped to Bekah’s level once. Not once.

And there had been plenty of opportunities for sabotage. She could have ruined everything long ago and yet she hadn’t done it. Chyna continued to refer back to those occurrences. If she hadn’t been capable of doing it then, what made Lexi think she could do it right before the wedding? The only answer she had ever been able to come up with is that it was her last chance. After that, they would be wed. She would no longer have a chance.

Still, she kept asking herself what she was going to have a chance for. She wasn’t going to magically win Jack back after all of this. And she didn’t even want that anymore. Despite what had happened with Ramsey, a future was still a potential with him. There was no potential left with Jack. Just a long lost love of someone who could never fully reciprocate those affections. A part of her would always love him, but he couldn’t be hers ever again. Not after what had happened…after what they had gone through. It had been too much. The last thing she ever wanted to do for him was show up at his wedding to see him become another woman’s husband.

It pained her through and through to know that Jack would never again be hers. He had been such a big large of her past that her future felt incomplete without him around. It wasn’t like she missed him, but there were times when something significant happened that her heart would ache for him. A hole was left in his absence and gradually it shrank, but it never completely disappeared.

Just as she felt the self-pity surrounding her previous actions about Jack begin to take over, a beep from her phone pulled her out of her sinking mood. She fished the phone out of her purse and clicked the button to pull up the text message. "Are you avoiding me?"

Lexi glanced up at the door tentative about someone coming into the room. The last thing she wanted to deal with on top of everyone else was her mystery man. She hadn’t necessarily been avoiding him, but it was just easier to try and work everything else out first. Okay so she had been avoiding him a little, but it wasn’t as if she had had much choice. She quickly jotted down a message and pressed send. "No, not in NYC."

"Oh, well that’s better than avoiding me. I don’t want to make you feel awkward."

Lexi tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before sending another message. "Don’t worry about it. I just have a lot to deal with right now."

"As usual." Lexi clicked off the message not sure how to respond. Yes she always had something to deal with, but he couldn’t be one of those things yet. Before she could think of something to say he had sent another one, "Let me take you to dinner."

She shook her head. "I don’t know about that."

"I know just the place."

"I know you do, but it’s complicated."

"You just make it so."

The door jiggled as if someone was about to walk into the room so she quickly shot back a response. "We’ll talk about this when I’m back. Gotta go. Bye."

She threw her phone into her purse just as Ramsey walked through the door. She tried to act nonchalant as if she hadn’t really been doing anything while he had been downstairs. Her heart was racing though. Ramsey didn’t know that anything had happened when they had been apart, and she wasn’t planning on telling him. They had been separated and so nothing that had happened counted.

She hadn’t exactly been in a good place, and even though he was continuing to get in contact with her, Lexi hadn’t seen him since that night. She wasn’t sure how Ramsey would react to news like that, but she didn’t want to find out. With everything still up in the air surrounding their relationship, she didn’t want to say or do anything that might jeopardize whatever was going on. If the time ever came up in which she would need to tell him what had happened while they had been a part, then she would think about it. Until then her lips were sealed, and she had always been good at keeping secrets.

The only thing she hadn’t been good at was lying. And trying to cover up the fact that she had just been doing something suspicious was a form of lying. Ramsey saw straight through her when she entered the room. She could tell he was assessing her behavior and she tried desperately to keep from messing with her hair. It was a dead giveaway and in this scenario was the last thing that she needed to do.

"What’s going on?" she finally asked her voice staying level. His eyes darted from her face to her purse and back. She watched them flicker to her hands lightly clenching onto her khaki shorts to keep from moving. When they returned to her face, she could see that they were set and suspicious, but he wasn’t going to ask. They were still on thin ice and he wasn’t going to make the wrong step.

"Nothing," he said a bit too quickly.

Lexi arched an eyebrow. She had been too focused on trying to keep from giving away what she had been doing to even really notice Ramsey. His shoulders were tensed and his face looked weary. His own hands were clenched more forcefully at his side. She had no idea what this was about. "What? What happened?"

"Nothing Lexi," he repeated.

"Don’t lie to me. Look at yourself, you’re tensed for battle. Did he say something about me?" she asked the first thing that came to her mind. "Did he want me to leave?"

"Uh, no," he mumbled. "He honestly wasn’t even expecting you."

"Well then what was he doing here?" she asked exasperated.

"Lexi please don’t make me say anything. He asked me not to." She could see that he was visibly fighting with himself about what to do. "I just wanted to let you know that he was gone so maybe we could get some lunch," he suggested nodding his head towards the stairs. She followed him out of the room, but was unable to get the thoughts of Jack out of her mind.

"Can I have a hint?" she asked as she trudged down the stairs after him.

"No."

"Ramsey, come on. He came here for some reason right?"

"Yes Lexi, but he wanted to speak to me alone for that same reason," he said never turning around to directly address her.

"It can’t be that important. He only has a week to the wedding, what could be so secretive?"

"Lexi I’m begging you to drop this. Just let it go. I don’t even want to talk about it," he said shaking his head again.

She followed him to the kitchen and watched as he prepared lunch for them. It was nothing too fancy, but she had never liked him for his extravagance. Her mind was elsewhere anyways. All she wanted to know was what had happened between him and Jack. She could see the weight of Jack’s words weighing down on Ramsey. Whatever the conversation had been about had been important at least. It hadn’t been just some random discussion about what tie to wear or some last minute demand made from the groom. This was something serious, something Jack literally had been able to discuss with no one else.

In the past, she had been that person for him. And she found it hard to believe that Ramsey was that person for him now. Not with his knowledge of their involvement. Lexi never saw him interact with Jack directly. Then again she had always avoided him as much as she could so that wouldn’t have been likely to happen. Yet, it just didn’t sit with her right that Ramsey was somehow Jack’s confidant. What could be so important that he had to run to Ramsey of all people for advice or confession, whichever it may be?

And however she tried, she couldn’t just drop the subject. It was there in the back of her mind throughout lunch. He talked pleasantries about the weather and insignificant things that had occurred over the past month. It might as well have been falling on deaf ears as much as she paid attention. She did her fair share of participating, but her mind was elsewhere and he knew it.

"I think that’s the third time you’ve agreed with me on something that you hate," he said sitting back in his chair and taking a swig of his beer.

Lexi blushed slightly at the statement. "Sorry I’m just out of it."

"Psh," he muttered eyeing her cautiously. "You’ve been like this since Jack left. Can’t you just forget about it?"

A smile touched the edges of her mouth as she shook her head no. She really couldn’t forget about it now especially after he had made such a big deal about it. She was desperately interested in what had happened.

"You’re incorrigible. You know that right?" he asked taking a deep breath.

"Absolutely. So what was he here for?" she asked leaning her elbows against the kitchen table and resting her chin in her hands.

"I really shouldn’t tell you."

"Probably not," she agreed cordially a teasing smile touching her features.

"Then why am I?"

"Because you know I’ll never let it go."

He rolled his eyes at her persistence. "Damn you woman," he said standing abruptly. "I gave him my word. If I tell you, what will it be worth?"

"Jack’s is worth nothing so I’ve no idea why you feel the need to protect him," she shot back standing to face him.

"I’m not protecting him," he said carefully, "just the fact that I told him I wouldn’t say anything should be enough. You’re likely the last person I would want to tell anyway."

Lexi’s eyebrows shot up at the last statement. She could tell that he wished he could take it back, but it was too late. Something had happened with Jack and not only did Jack not want anyone to know, but Ramsey had some strong inclination not to let Lexi know in particular. This completely changed things. She had been persistent before, but this was a different story. This was somehow personal.

"And why exactly would you not want me to know?" she asked eyeing him reproachfully.

Ramsey scratched the back of his head thoughtfully as he stared at the beautiful woman standing before him. "You just have a long…history with Jack."

"As if that changes anything," she muttered under her breath.

"But it does," he said closing the distance between them and entering her personal space. She took a step backwards not wanting the force of his presence to sidetrack their conversation. But he followed her movements wrapping a tight arm around her waist securing her in place.

"Personal space," she muttered causing him to smile at their remembered meeting where he hadn’t been able to avoid standing so close to her.

"This is where I like to be," he said leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead.

Her eyes fluttered closed at the contact, but immediately opened back up to stare into his sparkling green eyes. "So are you going to tell me what he wanted?" she asked trying to stay on track.

Ramsey groaned tilting his head back to the ceiling. "He’s getting cold feet," he said barely louder than a whisper.