Black House (Page 187)

Jack has no idea how much he will need the warmth of that embrace, nor of the manner in which it shall be returned to him, during the coming night.

First of all, he is exhausted. He has had the kind of day that should end in a surreal event like an embrace by a swarm of bees: Sophie, Wendell Green, Judy Marshall, Parkus — that cataclysm, that deluge! — and the strange death of Mouse Baumann, these things have stretched him taut, left him gasping. His body aches for rest. When he leaves French Landing and drives into the wide, dark countryside, he is tempted to pull over to the side of the road and catch a half-hour nap. The deepening night promises the refreshment of sleep, and that is the problem: he could wind up sleeping in the truck all night, which would leave him feeling bleary and arthritic on a day when he must be at his best.

Right now, he is not at his best — not by a longshot, as his father, Phil Sawyer, used to say. Right now he is running on fumes, another of Phil Sawyer’s pet expressions, but he figures that he can stay awake long enough to visit Henry Leyden. Maybe Henry cut a deal with the guy from ESPN — maybe Henry will move into a wider market and make a lot more money. Henry in no way needs any more money than he has, for Henry’s life seems flawless, but Jack likes the idea of his dear friend Henry suddenly flush with cash. A Henry with extra money to throw around is a Henry Jack would love to see. Imagine the wondrous clothes he could afford! Jack pictures going to New York with him, staying in a nice hotel like the Carlyle or the St. Regis, walking him through half a dozen great men’s stores, helping him pick out whatever he wants.

Just about everything looks good on Henry. He seems to improve all the clothes he wears, no matter what they are, but he has definite, particular tastes. Henry likes a certain classic, even old-fashioned, stylishness. He often dresses himself in pinstripes, windowpane plaids, herringbone tweeds. He likes cotton, linen, and wool. He sometimes wears bow ties, ascots, and little handkerchiefs that puff out of his breast pocket. On his feet, he puts penny loafers, wing tips, cap toes, and low boots of soft, fine leather. He never wears sneakers or jeans, and Jack has never seen him in a T-shirt that has writing on it. The question was, how did a man blind from birth evolve such a specific taste in clothing?

Oh, Jack realizes, it was his mother. Of course. He got his taste from his mother.

For some reason, this recognition threatens to bring tears to Jack’s eyes. I get too emotional when I get this tired, he says to himself. Watch out, or you’ll go overboard. But diagnosing a problem is not the same as fixing it, and he cannot follow his own advice. That Henry Leyden all of his life should have held to his mother’s ideas about men’s clothing strikes Jack as beautiful and moving. It implies a kind of loyalty he admires — unspoken loyalty. Henry probably got a lot from his mother: his quick-wittedness, his love of music, his levelheadedness, his utter lack of self-pity. Levelheadedness and lack of self-pity are a great combination, Jack thinks; they go a long way toward defining courage.

For Henry is courageous, Jack reminds himself. Henry is damn near fearless. It’s funny, how he talks about being able to drive a car, but Jack feels certain that, if allowed, his friend would unhesitatingly jump behind the wheel of the nearest Chrysler, start the engine, and take off for the highway. He would not exult or show off, such behavior being foreign to his nature; Henry would nod toward the windshield and say things like, "Looks like the corn is nice and tall for this time of year," and "I’m glad Duane finally got around to painting his house." And the corn would be tall, and Duane Updahl would have recently painted his house, information delivered to Henry by his mysterious sensory systems.

Jack decides that if he makes it out of Black House alive, he will give Henry the opportunity to take the Ram out for a spin. They might wind up nose-down in a ditch, but it will be worth it for the expression on Henry’s face. Some Saturday afternoon, he’ll get Henry out on Highway 93 and let him drive to the Sand Bar. If Beezer and Doc do not get savaged by weredogs and survive their journey to Black House, they ought to have the chance to enjoy Henry’s conversation, which, odd as it seems, is perfectly suited to theirs. Beezer and Doc should know Henry Leyden, they’d love the guy. After a couple of weeks, they’d have him up on a Harley, swooping toward Norway Valley from Centralia.

If only Henry could come with them to Black House. The thought pierces Jack with the sadness of an inspired idea that can never be put into practice. Henry would be brave and unfaltering, Jack knows, but what he most likes about the idea is that he and Henry would ever after be able to talk about what they had done. Those talks — the two of them, in one living room or another, snow piling on the roof — would be wonderful, but Jack cannot endanger Henry that way.

"That’s a stupid thing to think about," Jack says aloud, and realizes that he regrets not having been completely open and unguarded with Henry — that’s where the stupid worry comes from, his stubborn silence. It isn’t what he will be unable to say in the future; it’s what he failed to say in the past. He should have been honest with Henry from the start. He should have told him about the red feathers and the robins’ eggs and his gathering uneasiness. Henry would have helped him open his eyes; he would have helped Jack resolve his own blindness, which was more damaging than Henry’s.

All of that is over, Jack decides. No more secrets. Since he is lucky enough to have Henry’s friendship, he will demonstrate that he values it. From now on, he will tell Henry everything, including the background: the Territories, Speedy Parker, the dead man on the Santa Monica Pier, Tyler Marshall’s baseball cap. Judy Marshall. Sophie. Yes, he has to tell Henry about Sophie — how can he not have done so already? Henry will rejoice with him, and Jack cannot wait to see how he does it. Henry’s rejoicing will be unlike anyone else’s; Henry will impart some delicate, cool, good-hearted topspin to the expression of his delight, thereby increasing Jack’s own delight. What an incredible, literally incredible friend! If you were to describe Henry to someone who had never met him, he would sound unbelievable. Someone like that, living alone in an outback of the boonies? But there he was, all alone in the entirely obscure area of Norway Valley, French County, Wisconsin, waiting for the latest installment of Bleak House. By now, in anticipation of Jack’s arrival, he would have turned on the lights in his kitchen and living room, as he had done for years in honor of his dead, much-loved wife.