Professor Feelgood (Page 36)

Understatement.

“Well,” Mr. Whip says with a chuckle. “That seems like a good note on which to wrap this up. Sid, I’ll leave you and Asha to work out upcoming promotional events for Mr. Stone. Thank you very much, everyone. I look forward to us all working together to make this project a huge success.”

There’s a buzz of chatter as we all pack up, and after Mr. Whip and Serena say their goodbyes to Jacob, they usher everyone else out of the room.

“Okay,” Sidney says with a sparkle in his eye. “We have a bunch of promo appearances in the pipeline for you, Jacob, and the first one is tomorrow night. I’ve managed to get an invite for one of New York’s hottest events. Do you happen to own a tux?”

I almost snort. The only time I’ve ever seen Jake in a suit was prom night, and that one belonged to his dad. Jake in a tux would be like asking a lion to wear a tutu.

“No,” he says. “No tux.”

Sid writes something on his notebook. “No problem. I’ll organize one for you.” He looks Jake up and down. “You about a 42 long?”

“I have no idea.” Jake glances at me, then back to Sid. “What’s this for?”

“A fantastic event to launch a new matchmaking app. There’s going to be a ton of press there, and considering the romantic nature of the app, the event is very on-brand for your book.”

I immediately tense up. “You’re not talking about the Romance Central event?”

“That’s the one. Your lovely sister was kind enough to include Jacob in the celebrity lineup.”

Jake looks confused. “What’s Romance Central?”

I look at him. “My sister’s boyfriend runs a successful dates-for-hire business. In a nutshell, you can hire professional boyfriends and girlfriends for special events and companionship.” Jake’s eyes widen, and I know what he’s thinking. “There’s no sex. Just romance and companionship.” He gives me a skeptical look but doesn’t say anything, so I continue. “Part of their business model is a new dating app. Our friend Toby came up with this crazy-good algorithm, and the success rate is incredible. From everything Eden and Max have told me, the launch is going to be huge.”

“Which is why,” Sid says, “getting Jacob on that red carpet would be worth its weight in gold.”

“Well, great,” I say, a little weirded out that Jake will now be going. “Hope you guys have fun. Good luck with the photo ops.” I’m sure I can avoid him. The Four Seasons ballroom is huge.

“But you’re going, right?” Sid asks.

“Uh … yeah.”

“Great! Then you can chaperone Jacob.”

Um … what now?

“Don’t you usually chaperone authors?”

He sighs. “I’d love to. But Shawna and I are representing Whiplash at the Brock awards that night.”

“There’s no one else from your department available?” I ask. “I mean, I’m just an editor. I’m sure Mr. Stone would prefer someone with publicity experience.”

He closes his notebook. “You’ll be fine. I’ll give you instructions. All you need to do is steer him in the right direction and be your usual warm and supportive self.”

Jake looks at me. “I think it would be a good opportunity for us to bond, Miss Tate. Unless you have a problem with that.”

I smile over gritted teeth. “No, I just thought you might be more comfortable with someone … else.

“I wouldn’t. I’m your author, and when I signed with Whiplash, you promised to do everything in your power to help me through this process. Was that all talk?”

“No, of course not,” Sid says, throwing me a look. “We’re all devoted to making this as painless as possible, right, Asha? Besides, you’d be great for the optics. You’re gorgeous. He’s gorgeous. A gorgeous couple writing a book together is hot.”

I almost choke on the speed of my reply. “We’re not a couple.”

“I just meant a couple of people. No judgment on your private life.”

“I have a boyfriend, Sid.”

“Oh, that French guy? Really?” He leans closer. “But it’s been a couple of months. You’re due to break up with him, right?”

I blink a few times and take a breath. “Email me what you need. I’ll get it done.”

“Great,” Jake says. “Then it’s a date.”

I give him my most insincere smile. “Well, it’s a business function.”

“Wonderful.” Sid packs up his stuff and stands. “I’ll get everything sorted from my end and let you know final details tomorrow.” He goes over to Jake and shakes his hand. “A pleasure, Mr. Stone. We’ll talk soon.”

Once he’s gone, Jake and I are alone. We sit on opposite sides of the conference table, which is good, because if he were next to me, I might be tempted to smack him.

“Are you always going to find ways to humiliate me in front of my work colleagues?”

“Not always,” he says, blithely. “I mean, after the first few hundred times, it’s going to get stale, right? Then I’ll have to move on to humiliating you in front of strangers. And anyway, your coworkers have no idea about our history.”

“Well, they all think your childhood best friend was an asshole.”

“They came to that conclusion on their own.”

“When presented with your alternative facts. And now with the Romance Central event.”

“That was Sid’s idea, not mine. And I was genuinely trying to get you to do your job. If I was any other author, you wouldn’t think twice about being my chaperone. Trying to dodge the responsibility made you look unprofessional.”

I stop, because as much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. For any other author, I wouldn’t have a problem guiding them through interviews. But the thought of spending an entire evening with Jake gives me hypertension.

“Besides,” Jake says. “I figure that if I have to go to a stuffy event and wear a monkey suit, you should have to endure it with me.”

“You realize that if this book is as big as everyone thinks, you’re going to be invited to a lot of these kinds of events.”

“Then I hope you have a nice range of gowns, so I don’t get sick of seeing you in the same old rags.”

I sigh, and collect the leftover dossiers. Part of me is pissed, but another part is grateful that Jake has returned to his dickish ways. At least I know how to deal with him like this.

“I would have thought you’d prefer to take a date of your choosing rather than be lumped with me all night.”

When I struggle to nab a stray schedule in the middle of the table, he stands and grabs it before placing it on the top of my pile.

“Hanging with you is easy. I don’t have to try to impress you or make small talk, and because your opinion of me can’t get any lower, I can just be myself.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t really work for me. Could you try being one of the Hemsworths instead?”

He’s about to reply, when his phone buzzes. He checks the screen, and in a second, his whole demeanor changes.

“I gotta go.” He folds up the press release Sid gave him and shoves it into his pocket.

“What? Why?” I barely have the words out before he’s pushing open the conference room door and striding away. I hurry after him, my sore hip and knee causing me to limp. “Jake! What’s going on?”