Professor Feelgood (Page 62)

I nudge her with my elbow as we head out the door. “I’m not saying we’re going back to being besties right away, but … we really talked through things for the first time, and …” I stop and turn to her. “You know the other night when you said we all have to deal with stuff from the past that’s holding us back?”

“Of course. It was amazing advice.”

“Well, I think that’s what we did tonight. I didn’t realize how much space all my Jake issues were taking up. I mean, I still have some guilt over the choices I made, but … we actually admitted we missed each other.”

We also came dangerously close to kissing, but that’s not relevant right now.

“Does that mean you guys are going to team up again and draw monsters all over my bedroom wall? Because that wasn’t cool.”

I think for a second. “Hmmm. We have no immediate plans beyond finishing his book and behaving like adults for a change, but we’ll see how it goes.”

She pulls me in for a hug. “Well, I’m thrilled for you. I have to admit, it was easier to deal with your neuroses when Jake was around. It’s really a two-person job.”

I laugh and push her away. “Let me tell you a little story about a man called Shut Up.”

She smiles and hands me my purse. “Joanna asked me to give this back to you.”

“Did she leave?”

“Not sure. I saw her talking to Toby earlier. She’s probably around somewhere.”

We head back over to the bar area, and as we approach, I can see that Derek’s there, chatting with Jake.

Oh, God. This isn’t good. I’d almost forgotten that even though I’ve put out one fire tonight, the rest of the forest is still burning.

“I’d expected Derek to have left by now,” Eden whispers. “He usually hates these things. I kind of hope he’s cruising for a woman. God knows, if anyone needs to get well and truly laid, it’s him.”

I almost choke on my tongue.

“Hey, guys.” Eden says as she grabs two glasses of champagne off the bar and hands one to me. “What’s the news?”

Jake glances at me, then at his shoes. Okay, so we’ve officially reached the awkward phase of our new friendship. I wonder how long it will take for that flash of lust backstage to fade.

“Just talking to Jake about his travels,” Derek says. “Fascinating stuff. I hope you have an interview organized with him for Pulse.”

Eden rolls her eyes. “Of course. Sid promised us the first major feature on Boy Wonder, so be prepared for an argument next week on how many words you’re going to give me.”

Derek smiles and shoves his hands in his pockets. “Our arguments are the favorite part of my day.” He pulls a room key out of his pocket. “Well, as much fun as this has been, I’m heading out.” He looks at me. “I have the Ambassador’s Suite, and I intend to make the most of it.”

Eden cocks her head. “Is that code for watching porn in your bathrobe?”

Derek gives her a tired smile. “Goodnight, Tate. Tell Max he did a great job.” He shakes Jake’s hand. “Nice chatting with you, Jacob.”

Jake nods. “You, too.”

Finally, Derek turns to me. “Asha. Always a pleasure.”

I smile and try to hide that my body is still buzzing from another man’s hands. “Likewise.”

Oh, how much do I suck? Let me count the ways.

When Derek walks away, Eden makes a snorting noise. “Ash, he totally just checked you out. As if you’d ever give it up for his grumpy ass.”

Jake shoots me a look, and I know he’s urging me to level with her about Derek, but I shake my head. Tonight has already been a marathon of emotional upheavals. I can’t deal with another one. Not yet.

“Well, it’s been great,” I say. “But I think I’m going to call it a night.”

Jake finishes the rest of his beer. “Me, too. Thanks for having me, Eden. and just for the record, it was your idea to get me onstage, wasn’t it? A little payback for historical crimes against your sister?”

Eden feigns shock. “What? How dare you? I would never stoop so low. And I didn’t enjoy your extreme discomfort in the slightest

Jake buttons his jacket. “Glad to be of service.”

We say goodnight to Eden, and after I hug her, Jake and I head out of the ballroom. Even though our backstage catharsis has eased a huge portion of the anxiety that’s always existed between us, what happened afterward has opened the door to a whole new world of tension, one in which the merest brush of his elbow against my arm sets my entire body onto high alert.

“So,” Jake says as we stop near the elevators. “I take it you’re not coming with me.”

I know he’s asking about our transportation arrangements, but I still find the question hot.

“I have to go see Derek.” Jake frowns. “Is that okay?”

He shrugs. “He seems like an okay guy, but I get the definite impression you’re nervous around him. Why is that?”

I tug some hair behind my ear. I haven’t felt comfortable confiding in anyone about my sexual hang-ups, so why the hell am I seriously considering telling Jake? If I’m being honest, taking a small piece of the attraction I feel for Jake and transferring it to Derek would have me breaking land-speed records to get to his room. As it is, I’m not sure I should even go.

Jake moves closer and takes my elbow in his hand. “Ash, I know we have to take this friends thing slow, but if there’s anything you want to tell me …”

I take in a shallow breath, and right away he steps back and removes his hand. “Shit. Sorry. Distance.” He clenches his hands at his sides. “Just reassure me this guy is good to you, because if he treats you the way he treats your sister, he and I are going to have a conversation.”

“No conversation necessary,” I say, still blushing from his touch. “Derek treats me like a queen.” That’s what makes this whole thing so damn difficult. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He lingers for a second. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” I give him my most confident smile and step back from his addictive warmth. “Very sure.”

I push the call button for the elevator, and when it arrives, I get in and select the suite level. Jake stands outside the doors, hands in his pockets. It’s clear he still has concerns, but he doesn’t say anything. He just watches me until the doors close.

As the elevator speeds upward, I let out a sigh and slump against the wall.

“I can do this,” I mutter to myself, steeling my resolve. “I have to do this.”

TWENTY

____________________

Just Friends

THE NEXT MORNING, I climb the stairs to Jake’s apartment with a pounding head and a heavy heart. The last thing I want is to bring my personal issues into our writing sessions, so I’m hoping dark glasses will shield me from the light, as well as Jake’s scrutiny.

I knock as gently as I can to ensure my head doesn’t explode, and after a few seconds, he opens the door. At least he has the decency to be wearing a shirt today. My defenses are at an all-time low as it is. Resisting his half-naked sex appeal would be a bridge too far.

He studies me for a second then says, “Morning.” It’s quiet and friendly, and kind of off-putting. It’s going to take some getting used to with him not snarking at me all the time. We’ve had the same pattern for so long, different feels new.