If Forever Comes (Take This Regret #2)(23)
Author: A.L. Jackson

For a few seconds, she kept her face buried in my stomach before she turned that precious face up to me.

I ran the back of my fingers down the soft skin of her cheek, my head tilted to the side as I looked down at my daughter beaming up at me. “I missed you so much, baby girl. Do you know that?”

Her little hands clung to me, and I felt all of her love. But it was there, too, a trace of her confusion, a hint of her need she kept tucked inside her, hidden away in the same way I hid my own. I sighed in regret as I ran my fingers through the silky strands of her ponytail, a gentle encouragement that somehow, someway, we were going to figure all of this out.

She hugged me a little more before she turned her attention back to Kelsey, who seemed to be permanently attached to her side. “Mommy, when can me and Kelsey play again? We haven’t got to play in a whole week,” Lizzie said emphatically, the sweet, innocent, little girl making a return.

My voice was soft as I cupped her cheek. “I’m not sure, sweetheart, but I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“Kelsey’s going to be with me over the weekend.” Logan’s voice broke into the moment.

I’d almost forgotten he was there. Taking Kelsey’s backpack from her, he slung it over one shoulder.

“Why don’t you and Lizzie come over Sunday afternoon? We can let the girls play and we can barbecue or something?” He said it in an offhanded way, completely nonchalant.

I hesitated, knowing it should be nothing. Still, it felt like something.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” I said quietly, turning my gaze down to my feet.

“Oh, please, Mommy, please!” Lizzie begged at my side as she jumped up and down.

Kelsey joined in. “Yes! I wanna have a barbecue!”

I chanced a glance in his direction. Logan grinned at me with his hair flopping down in his face. He flipped it back with a shake of his head.

“It’s not a big deal, Liz. Honest…it’s just food, and it’ll be a ton more fun if we share it with friends.”

My deadened senses sparked. Christian fluttered through my consciousness like a breeze, a gust of his presence breathing into me. His touch…a whisper of his mouth. A ripple of need.

An eruption of blinding pain.

I squeezed my eyes to block it all out, this reflex that curled in my stomach and soured in my mouth.

I hated it, hated that I couldn’t stop myself from feeling like this whenever I thought of him.

I shook the involuntary reaction away, convincing myself it didn’t matter anyway. It wasn’t as if this meant anything, because it didn’t. It was just something to get me out of the house, something to break me from the cycle I’d given myself over to.

I’d promised Natalie…had promised myself.

I will try.

“Come on, Mommy,” Lizzie implored again as she tugged at my hand, looking up at me with hopeful blue eyes.

“Fine.” I bit at the inside of my mouth as I agreed, feeling a flicker of unease. “Is there anything I can bring?” I asked warily, giving in and looking up at Logan.

“Nah. Kelsey and I hardly ever get the chance to entertain, so we’d be happy to take care of it all. Right, honey?” he asked as he flashed a mega-watt grin at his beaming daughter.

“Right!” she said with a delighted nod of her head.

“Yay! I get to come over to your house!” Lizzie released my hand and nearly tackled Kelsey, the girls jumping as they squeezed each other in an overt show of excitement.

For the second time today, there was no stopping the smile that prodded at my mouth, the faintest hint of joy manifesting on my face. Seeing my daughter this way, knowing everything she’d been dragged through over the last few months and she still was thriving, brought a feeling of peace over me.

Any discomfort this brought me was worth it.

I will try.

I would try for her.

“So what time do you want us over?” I asked.

“Three sound good?”

“Sure.” Unsure would have been a better description of what I was feeling, but I said it anyway. I took Lizzie’s hand to start for the car. “We’ll see you Sunday, then.”

“Oh, and Liz?”

I paused and looked over my shoulder.

Logan’s gaze traveled my body before it landed back on my face. “You look really nice today.”

Self-consciously, I glanced down at the jeans and tee-shirt I wore, the first real clothes I’d worn to pick Lizzie up in months. I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt as I felt redness bloom on my face. “Uh…yeah…I guess I’ve looked a mess lately.”

His laughter was full of tease, though it rumbled with something more. “Believe me, Liz, no one can rock a pair of scroungy sweats the way you can.”

Then he lifted his chin with a smile and turned and led his daughter away.

Ruffled, I stood there watching them go. My mind reeled as I tried to make sense of what had just transpired. I placed an affectionate hand on Lizzie’s back. My voice was barely audible over the blaring headache that struck up in my head.

“We better get going.”

“Okay, Mommy.”

Logan waved back over at me as he climbed into his car.

I will try. For my daughter, I will try.

Chapter 10

Late May, Four Months Earlier

A roar of catcalls and whistles filled Sarah’s small living room. Black lace lay piled in the box I held on my lap, one that had come from Natalie.

“Do they even make lingerie for pregnant girls?” I asked through my grin as my attention sought her out.

She leaned against the wall across the room. Not for a second was I embarrassed. I was enjoying myself too much.

“Um, you weren’t supposed to be six-months pregnant on your wedding day, but yes, they most definitely do. I just had to dig a little deeper,” Natalie hollered over the din of the raucous room. Playfulness filled up the entirety of her smirk. “And believe me, Christian is going to appreciate my efforts.”

I pulled the nightie from the box and held it up in front of me. It had to be the sexiest piece of lingerie, all lace and garters and ribbon…and, well…not much else.

No, I didn’t think there’d be any issue with calling Christian’s appreciation into question. The only problem would be hiding it from him long enough to save it for our honeymoon. If he found it before, he’d be begging me to wear it.

Discretely I shook my head and bit at my lip. Nothing sounded better than two weeks of just Christian and me, long days and nights spent lost to each other, our hearts, minds, and bodies wrapped up and consumed. Where, he wouldn’t tell me, but his eyes had glimmered, a furor of excitement swimming through the depths as he promised me it was somewhere I’d never been before, but he couldn’t wait to take me there. It didn’t matter where he took me. It’d be paradise simply because we were together.