If Forever Comes (Take This Regret #2)(9)
Author: A.L. Jackson

My hands curled into the tightest fists, and I buried them in the pockets of my slacks, struggling to hang onto my last ounce of sanity because I knew I was about five seconds from losing my f**king mind.

I just wasn’t rational when it came to her.

She was mine.

She’d always been.

And I was going to make sure she always was.

Chapter 4

Mid-January, Eight Months Earlier

Distorted, late afternoon light diffused through the small, glazed window, tossing muted beams of sunlight across Elizabeth’s alcove bathroom. They struck the floor in slanted rays and lit up the dense motes that floated, suspended in the air. The walls felt as if they were closing in, and it was quiet. So damned quiet.

I paced the floor. My footsteps echoed back my impatience. What else was I supposed to do?

These had to be the longest three minutes of my life.

I raked two restless hands though my hair. My fingers dug into my skin and scraped along my scalp. Gripping the back of my neck, I turned my face to the ceiling and exhaled, hoping to release some of the pent-up pressure I couldn’t seem to expel from my body.

God, I couldn’t take this.

“Would you stop? You’re making me nervous.” Elizabeth fidgeted from her spot where she was propped up against the bathroom counter. She glanced at me askew. The tiniest of smiles played at her mouth. It tugged at those places inside me that only existed with her, simply because in her, they’d been created.

One side of my mouth lifted in a soft curl of affection. Her blonde hair was piled in a messy twist on her head, and a misshapen sweatshirt fell off one shoulder, the perfect partner to the pair of thin, black leggings she wore. Standing there, she looked so much like the eighteen-year-old girl I’d first met rather than the twenty-seven-year-old woman she was.

God, she was a vision, perfection in my eyes.

It was her expression that loosened that ball of anxiety knotting me tight. She looked up at me in anticipation, with trust and hope and the same excitement that was just about to fry my nerves.

I drew in a calming breath.

She was late. Just one day. But that didn’t matter. I think both of us already knew. We could feel our lives teetering on the cusp of change. The only thing left now was begging that little stick to put to rest the uncertainty, to give us its promise, to tell us that this was really happening.

Elizabeth stretched out her hand and silently beckoned me to her. That smile she wore on her beautiful face grew a little, nervously fluttering around the edges.

How could any one woman affect me this way? How could her touch both burn me and soothe me in the same simple stroke?

A smile teetered at my mouth as I slipped up in front of her. I gently wound her in my arms, and she laid her head on my chest. Little tremors rolled the length of her body.

“You’re shaking,” I murmured, running my fingers through her hair, hoping to calm her.

She edged back a fraction. Between us, she placed both hands flat across her belly. She looked up at me from beneath her lashes, her eyes all alight and alive.

“I’m not shaking.” Her voice dropped low, and she whispered her awe. “It’s butterflies.”

A sharp exhale escaped through my nose. There was no fear hiding below the surface of her words, no remnants of distrust spinning though her spirit. Nothing here threatened to take us back to that day. This…this was the way it should have been, how I should have been, standing there supporting the one who meant everything.

I ran my thumb across the sharp angle of her cheekbone. “Butterflies, huh?”

“Yeah,” she answered, chancing a hopeful grin. Warmth gleamed in her soft brown eyes.

Somehow Elizabeth managed to undo me a little more.

“Does that mean you already know what that test is going to say?” And I thought I did, too, thought I could feel it. Maybe I’d convinced myself into believing something just because I wanted it so badly. I didn’t know. But damn, if I didn’t ever want this.

Things were crazy with the wedding plans. It was hard to believe we’d gotten home from New York less than a month ago. We’d announced to Elizabeth’s family our plans, that we were actually setting a date.

June seventh.

God, it seemed impossible to fathom that things were finally as they should be.

Just five short months and Elizabeth would be mine, completely.

Natalie and Elizabeth’s sisters had immediately set to work on wedding plans, fretting over this day that, in my eyes, couldn’t be anything less than perfect simply because Elizabeth would become my wife.

It didn’t matter the place or the food or what everyone would wear.

All that mattered were the vows we were going to make.

Our lives had transformed so drastically in such a short period of time. We hadn’t been trying for this, but thought we’d just let it take its course. I mean, things were already chaotic, a disorganized mayhem, both of our houses on the market as we searched for a home to fill with love and the memories of our lives, plus the constant wedding plans we were running around organizing. But it was a welcomed mayhem.

I had a feeling it was about to get worse.

Seeming to get lost in thought, Elizabeth let her attention travel to the far wall. A few seconds later, she turned the force of it back on me.

“I didn’t think this would happen so fast. I’m not sure why, but I thought we’d have to work for it. But this…” Earnestly she pressed her hands more firmly to her stomach. “This blessing…I’ve been pretty sure of it for the last week. I just…know.”

I cupped her cheek. My attention flitted over every line and curve of the face forever burned in my mind. “I can’t wait to do this with you.”

She smiled up at me. A faint blush tinted her cheeks and tears glistened in her eyes. “I really hope we’re not getting ahead of ourselves.”

Longing rushed from her in waves. Each one crashed into me, as if some unconscious part of her were begging me to make this real.

I wanted so badly to give it to her.

“If not today, then we will celebrate it on another. But we will do this together, Elizabeth.”

She nodded against my palm and brought hers up to cover mine. She wrapped her fingers around mine. “Thank you for being here, Christian. For sharing this moment with me…whatever direction it goes.”

On the counter, the timer dinged.

I lay my cheek against hers, let her warmth surround me. My hold was secure. I was there for her one way or another. Even if this didn’t turn out the way we wanted it, we’d deal with it.