If Forever Comes (Take This Regret #2)(40)
Author: A.L. Jackson

I cut my eye back to him, searching for some kind of indication. A sign.

Had he touched her?

Images of Elizabeth with Logan crashed into my consciousness, clashing with everything I knew as right. I couldn’t bear it. I squeezed my eyes closed to block them out.

When I opened them, he was gone, and I was left standing there like the fool I’d been all these months, staring at the spot where he’d been.

I moved to my car, my feet heavy, weighted, as if I were wading upstream, losing my balance as I got caught in the undertow.

My head spun.

Blindly, I drove to my office. I clicked my door shut behind me, sank into my desk chair, and stared out at the sailboats that bobbed in the bay as I tried to mentally plough through the mess that had become my life. Tried to make sense of it all. That anger just surged, stoked a jealous rage inside of me.

Would Elizabeth really do this to me? To us?

God, I couldn’t imagine touching another woman. Ever. Not after Elizabeth had touched me the way she had.

The morning passed in a haze. A heavy fog swirled through my head. It contradicted the distinct itch I had bolt, to get the hell out of the suffocating confines of my office. When I couldn’t tolerate it any longer, I rushed out, told my secretary I would be back soon, and got in my car and drove. The destination was clear, though I had no idea what I would say when I got there.

The only thing I knew was I couldn’t let her go.

I pulled up to the curb in front of her house. Midday sun glared down from the sky, cast glinting rays through the windshield. The myrtle trees rustled in the gentle breeze. The little house looked so quaint, so quiet.

No one would have a clue of the pain we’d harbored here.

Sucking in a few resolved breaths, I pushed down all the anxiety of the unknown. All I knew was I had to talk with her, to lay it all out. I needed to tell her I loved her, and I could no longer go on living without her. Convince her she needed me as much as I needed her.

Leaving my car on the street, I ran up the sidewalk and pounded on her door. Agitation prickled at my nerves, and I scrubbed my palms over my face. Waiting, I paced.

“Come on, Elizabeth,” I begged below my breath.

But there was no answer, no rustling or movement from inside.

Undaunted, I pressed my face to the window to the left of the door, peered inside at the stillness of the family room. A load of laundry lay in an unfolded heap on the couch, toys strewn across the floor.

She was probably in bed, the way she always was, hiding from the realities she didn’t want to face.

Maybe I’d been wrong before. Maybe I’d pushed her into something she wasn’t ready for.

But now…there was no question.

It was time.

I pushed past the boundaries that had silently been set. Fumbling with my keys, I produced the one I hadn’t used in so long. Metal scraped as I slid the key into the lock. I pushed the door open to the silence that echoed back. Swallowing down the lingering reservations, I headed upstairs.

Our bedroom door sat just ajar. A slit of sunlight burst through the crack and shined against the hall wall.

I edged forward, cautious, and quietly called her name. God, I’d probably scare the hell out of her, sneaking up on her like this, waking her from sleep.

But there was no response, just more silence.

I touched the door. It creaked open. Her bed was unmade and empty. I inched forward, listening for movement from the bathroom. There was none.

Shit.

My movements were almost frantic as my attention shot around the room.

She was gone.

Elizabeth was never gone. I’d always banked on this, that she was lost in sleep, and that one day, she would wake. Fear gripped me when I realized she already had.

I just didn’t know what she’d awakened to, where her heart had found her.

I ran downstairs, searched the rest of the house, peered into the backyard to no avail.

She was gone.

I ran back out front. On the sidewalk, I came to a standstill. My hair flitted around my face as the wind came up, stirred along the ground, whipping up the fallen leaves.

What the hell was I supposed to do?

I pulled my cell phone from my pocket, scrolled through, called her. She didn’t answer.

I left no message. This needed to be done face-to-face.

It was hell forcing myself back to go back to the office for an afternoon meeting I had. I was pointless, really. There was no focus, just images of her, the need that steadily built in my gut. The only thing I could see was Elizabeth. My life.

The second the meeting was adjourned, I headed straight for the door. I drove, my mind reeling and my heart pounding.

I couldn’t let this happen.

I wouldn’t.

This was my family. A family I’d always promised I’d fight for. That I’d live for.

Monday night had made me realize I wasn’t.

No more. I refused to sit stagnant. I wouldn’t let what was most important to me be ripped away.

I wouldn’t let him have them.

I jerked my car to a stop in front of Natalie and Matthew’s house. I jumped out.

What I was doing here, I didn’t really know. But other than me, Matthew and Natalie knew Elizabeth best. They’d taken care of her through the roughest times in her life.

This, it was the greatest tragedy either of us had ever faced. She had to have gone to them. Another shot of jealousy hit me. I wanted to be that person, the one Elizabeth turned to in her time of need. How had we pushed each other away when we needed each other most?

I banged at their door.

Movement rustled from the other side, and the door opened to Matthew. Uncertainty lined every inch of his face, his eyes narrowed in distinct concern as he took in the mess that had to be my expression. “Christian…hey, man. Are you okay?” He peered behind me as if he were looking for an explanation before he turned his focus back on me. “What’s going on?”

I shouldered by him and began to pace in the small entryway just inside their house. Every second that passed, I felt myself crumbling, my spirit thrashing, my control slipping a little closer to the edge. I tore at my hair before I looked back at the disquiet that had taken over Matthew’s entire demeanor.

He placed placating hands out in front of him. “Hey man, I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to cool off. You look like you’re about five seconds from having a coronary.”

I blinked, swallowed, tried to rein it in. It left me in a ragged exhale that trembled through my chest. “Is she seeing him?” I demanded.

I felt Natalie’s presence emerge behind me at the end of the hall.