If Forever Comes (Take This Regret #2)(43)
Author: A.L. Jackson

Shaking my head, I pushed my worries aside, wrapped my sweater a little tighter around myself, and headed down the walkway toward the street.

Startled, I lost my footing when I caught a glimpse of Logan leaning against the front end of my car.

I guess maybe I shouldn’t have been all that surprised.

Tucking a sharp shot of air into my lungs, I pushed forward. I came to a stop two feet in front of him.

“You doing okay? I can tell you aren’t all that thrilled about this,” he said with a concerned tilt of his head.

With longing, I looked back at the house where I knew my daughter played. I pictured the smile that brightened every inch of her precious face, the joy gleaming in her expressive blue eyes, the fun she would surely have. Slowly I turned back to Logan, felt the corners of my eyes crease as I got lost in contemplation.

Logan just leaned back, his hands stuffed in his pockets, completely at ease, casual as he watched me without all the expectations I’d been running from. Another flurry of wind whipped through the air, stirring up the messy chunks of his hair. It flopped in his face. He roughed it back, revealing both of his playful, green eyes.

I wasn’t blind. I knew the man was attractive. But that had no bearing on why I liked him, why I liked being in his space.

With Logan, nothing seemed forced, and he stood there watching me without the scrutiny of those who judged, those who wanted responses from me that I didn’t want to give.

They’d wanted me to promise them I was okay when I wasn’t.

Logan had never once asked me things I didn’t want to tell.

Christian’s presence slipped just under the surface of my skin. And it hurt and it longed, whispered a call I didn’t think I’d ever be able to heed. Because that whisper burned, the memory of that beautiful man ingrained so deeply in my spirit that it now felt like a burden. He’d always be there, a part of me. There was no ridding myself of something so strong. He’d called me today. I’d let it go to voicemail because I just…couldn’t.

I managed to push all thoughts of Christian down, tucked them inside where I hid everything else, and focused on Logan.

I offered him a little honesty. “It’s hard for me to see her growing up like this.” I lifted my shoulders in a confounded shrug. “But then I’m so happy to see her this excited.” I paused, chewed at my lip before I fully leveled my eyes on him. “I just want her to be happy.”

Simple.

Just like I felt things were with Logan.

“You’re a good mom, Liz.” His nod was slow and meaningful.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I said through a scoff, then shook it off. “Anyway, I better get going.” I pointed to my car as if asking him to remove himself from it.

“You have plans tonight?”

“No, not really. I’m just going to get some laundry done.”

He laughed and turned his attention to the deepening sky. He was grinning when he looked back at me from the side, his arms crossed up high on his chest. “That’s really sad, Liz.” Those green eyes gleamed with the tease.

I dropped my gaze to my feet and released a self-conscious chuckle. “Exciting, right?”

“Not so much.” He shifted a little. “Listen…I have dinner simmering on the stove. Why don’t you come over? We can wallow in our little girls growing up together.”

I took a single step back. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Oh, come on, how could it be a bad idea? I have dinner and wine. There aren’t many things better than that.”

Over my shoulder, I gazed at the house. Lights glowed bright from all the windows. So much life was happening inside.

I wanted to…I wanted to do something different than spending another night alone at my house. Each night this week it had just gotten harder to bear.

Still, something held me back, a hesitation that hammered in my heart.

Something that felt inherently wrong.

“Why don’t you drive back to your house,” he continued, “leave your car, and you can ride over with me. That way you can have a glass of wine, relax, enjoy yourself a little.”

I wavered, my head tipped to the side as I tried to decipher his intention. I wasn’t a fool. I saw it in his eyes, read it in his actions, the way he stayed just a little too long and talked just a little too much, the attraction that was there. I knew he wanted something to develop between us.

Could it?

Now?

In time?

I just didn’t know.

As if he read every last one of my thoughts, he shook his head and laughed. “God, Liz, you worry too much. It’s just dinner.” His toothy grin was wide and without a trace of strain. Nonchalant.

But was it? Was that what he really intended it to be? Is that what I intended? Because I was lonely. I could admit it now. I missed something, but I couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was that I was missing.

I finally conceded, because in the end, I couldn’t stand the thought of walking into the emptiness of my house. “That sounds nice, I guess.”

His smile widened even more. “You guess, huh?” He splayed his hand over his heart. “You wound me, Liz.”

A sputter of laughter tripped from my mouth. I couldn’t help it.

Then he stood and straightened himself out. “Let me grab my car, and I’ll follow you over.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

By the time I sat down in my car, I was shaking. I fumbled to get the key into the ignition. I glanced to where Logan was parked on the opposite side of the street, facing me.

What was I doing?

God, I had no idea.

I had no idea what I felt or what I needed.

Starting my car, I flipped a U-turn and headed back toward my house. Headlights gleamed in my rearview mirror, a constant reminder that a different man than the one I’d thought I’d spend my life with tailed me, followed with unknown intentions. I had a feeling tonight he would make them clear.

I pulled into my garage and cut the engine. My heart skittered, and I couldn’t tell if it was a pleasant or unwelcomed sensation.

I will try.

I realized this was part of it, moving on, living. Hiding away was no longer an option.

With the keypad, I tapped in the code and closed the garage. I started toward Logan’s car. I couldn’t help but grin when he ran around to the passenger door and opened it, dipped himself in an exaggerated bow.

“Ma’am.”

I laughed, and it felt good.

Chapter 17

Present Day, Early October