If Forever Comes (Take This Regret #2)(39)
Author: A.L. Jackson

I’d stood on the other side of it for minutes, maybe hours, having no idea what direction to turn. Did I force her, risk the possibility of things escalating, blowing up the way they had the day I left? Did I risk having her say it, Elizabeth telling me she no longer loved me?

But even if she said it, I wouldn’t believe her.

I saw it in that one second she opened those brown eyes to me. She still belonged to me. Even if she couldn’t see it.

I exhaled, heavy and hard, shut off my car, and climbed out. I plodded up her sidewalk and rang the doorbell.

A few seconds later, the door swung open to Elizabeth.

My breath caught.

It didn’t matter how many days I’d stood at her door to pick up our daughter, it was always the same.

Intense longing exploded at my ribs, something that spoke of the regrets that would forever haunt my life, and the hopes that still flamed for my future. Elizabeth was in every single one of them.

Urges slammed me, ones that shouted for me to reach out, to take her. To do something.

Instead, I stepped back, gave her the space she demanded that was getting harder and harder to afford.

“Good morning, Elizabeth,” I said, something I’d done all week, something that felt like progress, even though it was the most pathetic show of it.

At least I opened my mouth.

I bit back the incredulous laughter that stirred in my chest.

Pathetic was right.

I knew I had to do something, but I was pinned against that wall, and I didn’t know how to break from it. How did I push back? How did I mount a battle when she wouldn’t allow me the chance to fight for her?

She cast me a wary glance. “Good morning,” slipped from her cautious lips. Then she turned away, looked toward the stairs, the way she did every morning. “Lizzie, sweetheart, your daddy is here.”

“Coming.”

This morning, Lizzie immediately appeared, her grin wider than I’d seen in so long. She rushed downstairs and ran to throw her arms around me. “Good morning, Daddy!” Excitement buzzed from her as she bounced.

A chuckle escaped me as I hugged her back. “Well, isn’t someone happy this morning.”

She lifted that sweet face to me as she hugged me around my waist. “I get to go to my first sleepover tonight!”

Curious, I turned my attention to Elizabeth.

She was smiling down at Lizzie. Really smiling. Then she peeked up at me. “I was going to talk to you about that this morning and make sure you were okay with it. Lizzie was invited to spend the night at Adriana’s house tonight for her birthday. I figured you wouldn’t mind since she was going to stay here tonight anyway.”

Lizzie jumped up and down. “Oh please, Daddy…I really really really wanna go!”

I laughed a little harder and ruffled a hand in her hair. “Well, I guess if you really really really want to go, I’ll have to let you,” I teased.

“Yay! Thank you, Daddy!”

She turned around and barreled into Elizabeth, squeezing her around the waist in a fierce hug. “Thank you, Mommy!”

Gentle laughter seeped from Elizabeth. “Of course, sweetheart.” Then Elizabeth softened into the embrace, her hold tight as she clutched Lizzie to her, then stroked an affectionate hand through the long locks of Lizzie’s hair. Palpable emotion swelled between them. “You have a fantastic day, my sweet girl. I’ll be thinking about you.”

Lizzie had her face buried in her mother’s stomach, the words muffled as she hugged her a little closer. “Okay, I will.”

I drew in a faltering breath. Thankfulness surged. God, seeing the two of them like this, the love shared between them, it was as if it healed a small piece of the wounds still smoldering inside me.

With a soft smile, Elizabeth nudged her back. “Go on or you’ll be late.”

Turning, Lizzie rushed out into the day. “Let’s go, Daddy!” She grabbed my hand and began to lead me down the walkway. Still lost in the sensations that had swirled between my girls, I hazarded a glance over my shoulder. Elizabeth watched us go. For the first time, she didn’t look away.

I slowed to a stop, just before we rounded the corner to the driveway. I stared at the woman I was so desperate to put back together. Still, I was at a loss at how to do it.

Unmistakable sadness poured between us. All I wanted to do was turn around and take her in my arms, touch her face, kiss her. Love her.

Unaware, Lizzie tugged at my hand. “We gotta hurry.”

Elizabeth blinked and the wall was back up.

With a resigned sigh, I turned and followed Lizzie to the car.

Five minutes later, I pulled to the curb in the circular drive in front of Lizzie’s school. She jumped out the back door and onto the sidewalk just as I came around the front of the car. Crouching down, I helped her slip her backpack onto her shoulders. I dropped a quick kiss to her forehead. “Have a great day, sweetheart. I hope you have a great time at your sleepover.”

A dimpled grin split her face. “It’s going to be the best day ever.”

Warmth seeped into my skin, my little girl, my light. When it seemed impossible to smile, somehow this child made it unstoppable. I cupped her cheek, tilted my head with the force of that smile. “You’d better hurry. We’re running a little bit late today.”

She turned and jogged off.

“See you tomorrow,” I called.

“See you tomorrow!” she sang as she looked at me over her shoulder.

I lifted my hand in a pensive wave. She headed back toward the entrance. She veered when she saw Kelsey standing beside her dad’s car at the curb.

Every muscle in my body constricted.

Lizzie came to a stop at Kelsey’s side. From a distance, I watched her tip her head back and laugh unrestrained. And that ass**le was there, laughing, too. Then the piece of shit reached out and ran his fingers through my daughter’s hair.

Motherfucker.

My hands clenched into fists at my side in the same second he glanced up to catch my stare. He turned back to Lizzie and Kelsey, said something else before the two rushed toward the school gates.

Anger curled, wound with the possessiveness that spun me into a frenzy. My head pounded, and I was pretty sure I was close to losing my mind.

Lizzie’s words of last week blared into my senses, how excited she’d been, how much fun they’d had.

And Elizabeth had been different. Happy? Almost. Maybe. I shook my head. I didn’t know. But definitely different.

Fuck.

I raked a shaky hand through my hair.

Was she seeing him?