Take This Regret (Take This Regret #1)(12)
Author: A.L. Jackson

“Yep!” she agreed from her spot on the floor.

“You guys feel like staying for dinner? I’m making lasagna.”

Matthew glanced at Natalie and then shook his head apologetical y. “Sorry, Liz, but we planned a date night.” I tried unsuccessful y to hide the disappointment that flushed my face. “Oh, okay.”

Matthew imparted a sad smile; one I knew wel ; one that told me it was okay to move on and that I didn’t have to be alone. While I appreciated the sentiment, it was something I would give no consideration. The only relationship after Matthew I’d attempted had ended in near disaster, and I’d accepted that I would never love again.

That knowledge rendered dating senseless. I’d only be wasting precious time that could be spent with my daughter.

Pretending not to notice the silent conversation Matthew attempted to have with me, I call ed to Lizzie to come and tel them goodbye. We fol owed Matthew and Natalie out to their car, Lizzie giving hugs and kisses for the weekend away. I hugged them both, whispering my thanks.

They both assured me, once again, that they should be the ones to thank me.

Standing at the edge of the road in the driveway, Lizzie and I waved and watched them drive away. I glanced down at Lizzie who was hugging my leg and grinning up at me.

She was just so precious. Lovingly, I ran my hand through my daughter’s hair, my toothy smile matching hers. “Are you hungry, my princess?”

Lizzie nodded against my hand when I moved it to cup her cheek, her smile evident where it was pressed against my palm. Breathing deeply, I savored the emotion that traveled between us, only to go rigid when I heard a voice I could never forget, call ing out my name.

“Elizabeth?”

Chapter 03

Seven point three miles.

I stared unblinking at the screen as I turned the number over in my head.

Elizabeth Ayers lived seven point three miles away.

My finger shook as I traced the line on the map, the fantasy of my child living near becoming a firm reality. My chest fil ed with the same emotions of adoration I’d felt earlier when I’d first seen the child as I all owed my mind to wander with possibilities, possibilities of knowing her, of loving her—of being her father. I wanted desperately to fil that position. And I knew she wanted me too.

At the same time, I was terrified of seeing Elizabeth again. The thought of her in another man’s arms was almost unbearable, made worse by knowing I had forced her there. But greater than all of that would be standing in front of her with the shame I bore. I knew I deserved nothing of them, deserved to play no part in their lives, but whether I deserved it or not, I could not turn away. The child’s face was burned in my mind.

Work passed much too slowly. I spent the day trying to focus on the things I had to finish, but my mind continual y strayed to a little girl with black hair and blue eyes. The moment my last meeting of the day adjourned, I was on my feet and heading out the door, dodging the inevitable interference of employees with need for direction. On any other day, I wouldn’t have minded, but today was different. I quickly excused myself from each conversation with little more than a word and hurried to the elevators to the parking garage below.

Entering the address I had memorized the night before into my GPS, I set out to find my daughter. Each beat of my heart pounded harder the closer I got. By the time I turned onto the narrow street lined with smal houses, I could hardly breathe. The ability left me altogether when I came upon the address.

Standing in the driveway was my daughter in Matthew’s arms, the same child I had fal en in love with the day before. She was hugging him fiercely. I was overcome with jealousy and loss as I watched the scene in front of me.

I fought those emotions, reminding myself that this was my fault. Quickly, though, my jealousy became confusion as I watched Matthew set the child down and pul Elizabeth into a hug before placing an unassuming kiss against her cheek. That confusion only grew when Matthew turned to the same woman from yesterday, took her hand, and led her to his car.

Quickly, I pulled to the curb across the street, making sure two cars parked on the road obstructed the view of my car.

I sat, perplexed as I witnessed Matthew lean across the console of his car and kiss the girl after she sat down in the passenger seat. The kiss was not obscene, but clearly one shared between lovers. Then the two drove away and left me struggling to make sense of what I had just seen.

My heart sank as shock shifted to realization. No. I shook my head, biting the inside of my mouth and drawing blood. “No,” I wheezed out, this time aloud. I squeezed my eyes shut, wil ing myself to just breathe before I passed out.

Matthew was not with Elizabeth. I slammed my fist down against my leg, my head fil ed with accusations as I silently cursed myself for being so incredibly stupid. He was supposed to be with her, loving her, caring for her. I literal y felt sick with the hatred that coursed through me, that judgment directed only at myself.

Opening my eyes, I looked back toward the driveway.

A lump formed in my throat when I gazed at Elizabeth. She was so beautiful—too beautiful. My body burned for the only woman I had ever loved. Why had I ever been so stupid, so selfish? As if anything could have been more important than she was.

Elizabeth stroked her hand through our daughter’s hair, the love apparent in the gentle expression on her face as she touched the child’s cheek. I could wait no longer. I stepped from my car and call ed to her from across the street.

Chapter 04

“Elizabeth.”

A chill ran down my spine as his voice penetrated my ears, seeping through my body. The sound came like warmth rushing through my veins, leaving a shock of cold as it passed. My head snapped up, meeting his face, his blue eyes intense, emotion pouring from them as he looked from Lizzie to me. It was all I could do to keep from fal ing to the ground as I felt the world I had built come crashing down around me.

Lizzie’s words were barely distinguishable as she tugged on my arm, attempting to get my attention.

“Momma, it’s the nice man.” all I could think about was that Christian had returned, here to squash the last piece of my heart. With one hand, I clutched my stomach that twisted in knots, the other pressed over my mouth to cover the cry rattling around in my throat. I found myself unable to look away as I stared at Christian through hot, angry tears.

Surely, he could see it on my face and in my eyes, the love for him I still held there like some foolish girl awaiting the return of her long lost lover. It enraged me that he still had that kind of control over me. But this was not about my broken heart. This was about the little girl pul ing on my arm, trying once again to get my attention.