Pulled(39)
Author: A.L. Jackson

It occurred to me then that I hadn’t even told Dad about the building. It was crazy how something that had been so consuming less than two days before hadn’t even entered my mind since I signed those papers last night.

“Oh, I can’t believe I forgot to tellyou. I signed a contract last night with Borel i & Preston Contractors for the building. We should be able to break ground in the next two months.” Dad looked at me as if he was proud of me once again, and I was thankful this was something I hadn’t messed up.

I looked around the table at my family, their faces filled with joy, and I couldn’t help but feel it was a—good day. Did I really feel that? I didn’t think I had the ability to feel good about something, but I did. I met Erin’s stare across the table, and a million questions ran across her face.

She stood up, grabbing her plate. “Why don’t you guys go for a walk? Daniel and I are doing dishes.” She smiled sweetly at me, a gleam in her eye.

I followed her lead, gathering the rest of the dishes, and trailed her into the kitchen. Erin leaned against the island, arms crossed over her chest.

“Spil it.”

I furrowed my brow at her as I walked past, placing the dishes in the sink. “What are you talking about, Erin?”

“Oh, don’t give me that, Daniel. Something’s up. I haven’t seen you this happy or happy at all , I should say, in nine years. And I’d venture to say this happiness isn’t related to the news you just dropped on us a couple of hours ago.”

I turned to face her, once again thankful she knew me so well. “Erin, I can’t believe I got myself into this situation.” I ran my hands through my hair, trying not to get upset. “What am I supposed to do? This girl completely screwed me.”

She scowled at me. “No, Daniel, I’m pretty sure it’s you who screwed her.” Wel , damn. I could always confide in Erin, but she never hesitated to set me straight, either.

“I told you you’d end up getting yourself into trouble with this lifestyle. Your whole no-strings-attached doesn’t always end up working out in real life. You should have known it was going to catch up to you one day.” She fel quiet and looked at her feet, suddenly appearing uncomfortable.

“Are you scared?” She took the couple of steps to come beside me, leaning on one elbow so she could look at me.

“I can’t even think about a baby—or that one, at least.” I hung my head. After losing Eva, I just could never feel the same. “So yeah, I am scared. Scared I’ll never love him. It’s so unfair to him, Erin. It’s not his fault. You know, I told her I wanted joint custody. It just came out my mouth, and I don’t even know why.”

“Don’t count yourself out quite yet, big brother. You might just surprise yourself.”

I wished she was right, but the only thing I felt was regret.

She nudged me with her shoulder, smirking up at me. “So, now that we’ve got the bad out of the way, tel what it is that has lit that fire in your eyes again. That flame’s been out for a long time now.”

I turned and gestured toward the sink. I dug my hands into the soapy water, and Erin grabbed a hand towel to dry. I started on the first plate and glanced down at Erin, giving her a smal smile. “You know how I signed those papers last night?” She nodded. “Wel , it’s with a company Borel i & Preston Contractors. I met with them at a restaurant to go over their proposal, and they brought their wives.” She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes, unsure of where I was going with this story. It was absolutely not what she was thinking, while at the same time, it was exactly what she was thinking.

Shit. It really was complicated.

I handed her a plate to dry and started on another.

“Erin, she was there. One of the wives,” I said as I looked directly at her, “was Melanie.”

Her face paled as the plate she was drying slipped through her fingers, shattering against the marble floor.

“What?” she croaked, shock written on her face.

Her breathing quickened and escalated out of control as the pain she’d repressed all these years came to the surface.

“Daniel, Melanie found you?” she rasped out, her hand digging into my arm as tears started to rol down her cheeks. “What happened? What did you say to her? Is she okay? Is she happy?” Questions poured from her, each one coming faster than the last. Erin’s heart had been broken too; when Melanie had left, Erin had lost her best friend and the only sister she’d known. still , Erin had never stopped loving her.

I brought her to my chest, holding her to me. “Can you believe it? Melanie is here in Chicago. I can’t even explain how I felt last night, sitting across from her. I could still feel her, Erin. That power.” I felt her nod into my chest.

Erin was the one person I could talk to openly about it; she was the one who helped us understand what it was in the first place. “It was like it had grown, like it had worked all these years to bring us to that very spot last night. She still loves me, Erin. I know it…I could feel it. She wanted me.” I rocked her against me, not sure who was comforting who. “I’ve never been so confused. I always believed she found someone better, someone who could make her happy since I couldn’t do that. But her face…she was anything but happy.” I pulled back, searching Erin’s face, trying to make her understand. “She was just like me.” Erin tensed and her body shook against me.

“You!” She pounded on my chest with her fists, rubbing her nose in my shirt at the same time. “So f**king stupid, Daniel.” I tried to restrain her as she continued to beat her hands against me. She cried again and again, “So stupid, so stupid!”

“Erin, stop. Please!” She was kil ing me, breaking my heart all over again.

“No, Daniel. I’ve kept this in for too long, and I’m done! I’m done sitting aside while you blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault, done keeping secrets that only hurt the people I love!” she screamed, her fists bal ed in my shirt as she unleashed her anger on me.

“What the hel are you talking about, Erin?”

“You let her go, Daniel! That’s what I’m talking about! You made me promise to never contact my best friend, my sister!”

“You know why I had to do that, Erin! She didn’t want me anymore. You would have run after her to try to change her mind. You would have made her feel guilty for leaving. I wanted her to live the life that she wanted, to have a chance to be happy. I couldn’t stand in the way of that, and you running after her definitely would have!” How could Erin blame me for wanting Melanie to be happy? Every day I had wanted to find her. But if being away from me was the one thing that made her happy, that was the one thing I could give her.