Pulled(6)
Author: A.L. Jackson

I wasn’t the only one, though. She’d been holding back, too. Maybe she’d just been too disappointed in me and couldn’t look at me the same. I didn’t have all the answers, but what I did know was my relationship with my mom never recovered after that summer.

“I’m pretty good.” She sounded sad. “How have you been?”

“Um, wel , you know, same old Melanie.” I couldn’t bring myself to lie to her about being happy. It was just too obvious I wasn’t.

She didn’t say anything.

“Mom, what’s going on?” As distant as we were, the thought of something being wrong with Mom sent a wave of terror through me.

“Nothing’s wrong, Melanie. I just miss you. I mean, I miss you, the girl I used to know.” I could hear the sadness in her voice and was certain she was crying. We hadn’t talked like this once in the last nine years, and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

“Mom…that girl doesn’t exist anymore.”

An audible sob came through the line. I leaned against the wal for support. This was not where I’d expected this conversation to go.

“Melanie, sweetheart, I need to come and see you. Willyou let me?”

It was clear just how far we’d all owed ourselves to drift from each other when it was obvious neither of us wanted it that way. It was just as much my fault as it was hers. She was just taking the first step to make it right.

She’d dropped by overnight a couple of times when she and Mark were passing through over the years, but I’d never gone to visit her once. I knew this trip would be different.

“Yeah, Mom. I think I’d like that. When?” The emotion was thick in my words, and I hoped she knew just how much I wanted to see her. I missed her so much, but I’d all owed all of the other hurt I had to cloud that.

“Wel , I was thinking I could come out the week of

“Wel , I was thinking I could come out the week of Thanksgiving and stay during the holiday? I mean, only if it’s not too much trouble. I don’t want to impose on you and Nicholas.”

I was a little disappointed it would still be eight weeks before I could see her, another confirmation of just how much I needed her.

“No, Mom, I really do want you here.

Please…come.” It was more than an invitation for a simple visit.

She sniffled, though I could sense her relief.

“Okay…I’ll be there.”

It was time to make right this one thing that had been wronged so long ago.

Chapter 04

“Daniel, it’s too late.”

I wouldn’t listen, refused to accept his words.

Instead, I pled, “No. Please. Save her. You have to save her.”

Hands restrained me, but my body pushed forward, desperate.

“No!” If I said it enough, I could make it true.

She couldn’t be gone. I just saw her.

“God, no. Please!”

Why weren’t they fighting for her? Why were they all standing here, doing nothing?

I had to get past him, to go to her, to protect her.

“It’s too late,” he said the words again, his arms tightening around me as he abandoned his efforts to restrain me in an attempt to comfort me.

His words crushed me as reality brought me to my knees, images of the perfect face I barely knew, flashing through my mind, cutting my soul in two.

Panic burned through my body, and sweat broke out across my flesh.

The alarm blared, shocking my mind back into the present, bringing me to a consciousness I didn’t want to face. I squeezed my eyes, willing them shut a moment longer, unable to tel what was worse—reliving the nightmare every night or waking to the life I didn’t want to live.

My stomach rol ed, recoiling with the acids burning in my throat, and I barely made it to the bathroom before my body rid itself of the ache the only way it knew how as if the act would somehow give my body peace.

If only it were that simple.

The heaves finally subsided, and I sank the rest of the way to the floor, trying to catch my breath and slow my breathing.

“Fuck.”

I pulled myself off the floor, holding onto the sink for support. I turned on the water, splashed it on my face, and washed the sleep away before reaching for my toothbrush.

Every morning, just the same. Tuesday would prove to be no different.

I showered and dressed, dreading this dinner thing. Feeling desperate, I even considered asking Mom, but figured it would not be cute to bring my mother. I was sure it ran more along the lines of pathetic.

I walked to the front door, bent over to pick up my bag, and reached for my keys on the entryway table. I paused, looking at the photo atop it, the one of me with my arms wrapped around Melanie. We were both smiling, just moments after I had walked across the stage for my high school diploma, back when we believed nothing could tear us apart.

God, I missed her.

I arrived at the office just before eight, trying to ignore the steady increase of pressure in my head. I had so much to do. I couldn’t believe the amount of stress one building could cause.

“Good morning, Lisa.”

“Good morning, Dr. Montgomery.” Her smile was warm, soothing.

“Any messages for me this morning?”

“Um…there are a couple here from the answering service.” She searched through the stacks of papers on her desk, digging out the smal pile of notes and handing them to me. I tipped her a smal nod in thanks and walked into my office.

Sinking into my desk, I checked my appointments for the day before thumbing through the messages. The first two were from the bank.

The last was from Vanessa.

“Shit,” I mumbled under my breath.

That girl had been hounding me for months. I really screwed that one up. I should have known better, but she’d completely caught me off guard.

She was a drug rep from one of the larger pharmaceutical companies, and it was clear she wanted to get her foot in the door, knowing how much money a practice like ours would bring her. I met her the first week we’d arrived in Chicago. Some of our business partners had set up a mixer to get the word out about the new practice, generating interest and referrals right away.

I knew it the first time I saw her. She was just the same as the rest, looking for an easy way to get ahead and using whatever means she thought would get her what she wanted. She sought me out, knowing exactly who I was and what I could do for her. My first instinct was to run. But she was relentless, and I’d had too much to drink.

Nine years ago I’d learned it best to stay away, but there were times when I became weak, tired—tired of being alone—and I’d relent to the smal voice in my head that insisted it was okay. Just like last night. Never once had I not regretted it.