Pulled(44)
Author: A.L. Jackson

Diane assured me that I was doing great and that I probably had maybe three or four more weeks of therapy left before I could do the exercises on my own. Three or four weeks? I really didn’t think I could wait that long.

After the session, I pushed the door open, not sure how I was going to get home. Mom was waiting outside. I could see through the windshield that her face was flat and void of all emotion. The only evidence of our argument was her red splotchy cheeks.

I climbed into the front passenger seat, and neither of us acknowledged the other the entire way home.

Slowly, I took the stairs to my bedroom, feeling terrible for ignoring my little sister who tried to talk to me, and locked the door behind me. I’d already had enough of this day, and it wasn’t even lunchtime.

It went against my nature to say such nasty things to Mom. I was so angry with her for putting me through this. And if I was being honest with myself, I was angry with Daniel. Angry that he had abandoned me.

Please, no! I couldn’t allow myself think that. I fell to the floor, clutching my chest, and buried my face into the carpet. What if Mom was right? Had he moved on? Had he decided I couldn’t give him what he wanted in life? No, Daniel loved me. I knew he did. I could feel it, even here in my old room a thousand miles away from him. But just because he loved me didn’t mean he wanted to be with me.

I sobbed into the carpet for what seemed like hours, releasing everything that had built over the days and months apart.

I rolled onto my side and curled into a ball, trying to comfort myself, rocking as I shed every tear I could find.

They started to slow, and I tried to pull myself together, twisting to turn onto my knees when I saw the little box tucked under my bed.

How did that get there?

It was the same box I’d seen on the counter in the hospital. I’d noticed it once but forgot it right away.

Reaching under the bed skirt, I pulled it out. Sitting up, I spread my legs out in front of me with my back propped up against the bed. I lifted the lid, peaking inside, unsure of what I’d find. Cards. A lump formed in my throat when I realized what these were. I picked up the first and the tears began again, this time not from my anger, but from the love I felt.

I read the cover. “Get Well Soon.” Opening it, I saw it was from Stacy. The next was a sympathy card from all the teachers at Springs High. I smiled through my tears as I went through all of them, each one reminding me of all the people who cared about me, who loved me, and I knew I wasn’t alone.

I gasped as I pulled the last item from the box, dropping it as I clapped my hands over my mouth to stifle a cry. My hands trembled as I reached for the picture that had fallen upside down onto the floor.

I couldn’t breathe.

Eva.

I’d never seen her, my baby girl, but there she was, tucked in her daddy’s arms. She was the smallest thing I’d ever seen. Even though Daniel had told me, I never could have imagined how tiny she really was. I knew she was broken, but I saw none of that. All I saw was how perfect she was. My heart rejoiced to have this piece of her, this moment in her short life captured forever.

And Daniel. I couldn’t see his face; he was looking down at her. But I could feel it; how he tenderly held her, loved her, took care of her while he could. I could also sense his pain, how his heart had broke as he held her in his arms, and I realized how badly he needed me.

I couldn’t wait any longer.

Chapter 15

July 2000

I paid little attention to what I packed as I stuffed clothes into my small suitcase. Where was it—that simple red dress Daniel always loved? I would go to him in that.

Pulling it from the closet, I quickly changed into it and slipped on my black flats.

My hands trembled with excitement. Rushing out, I dragged the suitcase behind me. I made it down the stairs faster than I ever had before, going straight for the phone in the family room and calling a cab.

“Melanie?” I tensed up when I heard Mom behind me, her voice strained. “What’s going on?” Slowly I turned to her, bracing myself for what was sure to be a fight. “I’m leaving.”

“What?”

“I’m going back to Colorado. I can’t stay here any longer. I have to go back to Daniel.” I pushed past her, looking out the window for the cab even though I knew it wouldn’t be here for another ten minutes.

“No, Melanie. You can’t…you…you still have to finish therapy,” she stammered, searching for a reason to make me stay.

“I’ll do it there.” I turned back to the window, peering out at the heat radiating from the asphalt.

“Melanie, please don’t do this. You need to stay here a little longer. Please, for me. I’m begging you.” She clutched my arm, trying to pull me to her. She seemed so

—desperate and scared?

“I’m eighteen now, and I’ll do what I want.” I shrugged her off, unwilling to allow her to sway my decision. Right then, I couldn’t care less what she thought.

It was obvious how badly she hated Daniel, and I refused to listen to anything she said. Miraculously, the cab pulled up, and I made for the door, dodging her as she tried to block my path.

“Melanie, you don’t understand. Please, we need to talk. Just wait!” she begged as I pushed past her. I ignored her. Anything she had to say should have been said months ago if it was so important.

I shoved my bag into the backseat and got in.

“Airport.”

The driver hesitated, unsure of what to do with my mom trying to open the door and pleading with me to get out of the cab.

“Just go!” I yelled at him. He looked back at me before shrugging and driving away.

As he sped down the freeway, I couldn’t sit still as I fidgeted in my seat. I really was going.

“I’m coming,” I whispered to Daniel’s spirit, promising him I would soon be there.

The first leg of my flight to L.A. boarded, and soon we were taxiing down the runway. When we landed, I had to rush to my meet my connecting flight to Boulder.

When the plane landed, I was still soaring. I nearly pushed through the aisle as everyone stood to exit.

I couldn’t remember one time in my life when I’d felt this excited, this happy. I couldn’t wait to see Daniel’s face when I surprised him. I could almost feel the way his arms would wrap around me.

I hailed a cab and gave the driver the address.

As we got closer, I dug my keys out of my purse, tapping them against my thigh, my foot bouncing. It was nearing dusk when I stepped from the cab. I breathed in.