Christian (The Mitchell/Healy Family #3)(25)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“Just stay away from me, Ethan. Please. You can’t touch me right now.”

“I get it, okay? I understand now. I don’t know why you couldn’t tell me before, but I get it. Now, please come over here and calm down. I promise I won’t touch you.”

Her eyes widened, “What did you say?” She asked in just a whisper.

“I said I won’t touch you,” I repeated.

Christian sank down on the floor, and began to bawl again. I rushed to her side, more concerned for her latest breakdown than what was actually freaking her out so much.

“Talk to me, babe.”

“I can’t. I can’t talk to anyone. I tried. It’s no use.”

“You can tell me anything.”

She shook her head, refusing to look in my direction. “That’s where you’re wrong. Trust me when I say that you don’t want to know this. It’s my burden, and I’ll take care of it on my own.”

Imagining her aborting our child made my blood boil. “Why would you even say that? How could you think I wouldn’t want to help you through it?”

“It’s none of your business, Ethan. You should just go. Talkin’ about it only makes it real. You don’t understand how much I wish it never happened. I should have known somethin’ like this would happen. I should have seen it comin’.”

I’d never heard her talk to me like she was. In all of the times where I knew her true feelings for me, this was a shock. She was pushing me away when we finally had a reason to move forward together. It all ripped through me like a knife, dull enough to make the pain last inevitably longer than it should.

“I won’t let you go through this alone, no matter how much you fight me. I know you’re pregnant, Chris. That’s what this is about. You think I don’t want -.”

“Pregnant?” She interrupted. “You think that’s what this is about?”

I was shocked. “What else could it be?”

Her lips quivered as she looked up at me with desperate eyes. “I’m not pregnant Ethan, and now I don’t even know if I’ll ever want to become a mother. I wouldn’t want to watch my child go through somethin’ like this.”

“If you’re not pregnant, than what is it, because I’m not leavin’ this room until you tell me the God damn truth. We’ve been friends for too long. Of all the people in this world you know you can trust me. I know I’ve hurt you in the past, and for that I’m sorry, but I’d never let you go through this kind of pain on my watch. It’s my job to protect you. I promised your father I would. Tell me now. Tell me what in the hell happened in the past twenty-four hours. Are you upset because of me? Did I do something to cause this?”

She finally shook her head. “No. It’s not you.” There was a long pause, and I wondered if she was even going to divulge anything else. “It’s Seth.”

“Did he say something to hurt your feelin’s? Did he call you a whore, because if he did…”

“He raped me.” The words came out so sudden, yet I froze in place, unable to grasp the meaning of them. It was as if time stood still to give me a moment to take it all in.

In that exact moment I’d lost all sense of hope. This wasn’t something I could fix. She was broken, and there was nothing I could do to take the pain away.

Chapter 16

Christian

My words vibrated off my lips, but I wasn’t in control of them coming out of my mouth. Something else was forcing me to confess my tragedy to Ethan. One look in his eyes told me everything I’d feared. He’d never look at me the same again, because I was damaged. If I’d listened to him more often none of this would have happened. I knew he blamed me. Why else would he be speechless?

“Chris,” my name was spoken so smoothly.

“Like I said before. You can’t help me. There’s nothin’ anyone can do to help me.”

“You’ve got to call the police.”

“Why?” I questioned. “What good will it do? I slept with him twice right before this happened. People saw us together. We went to the movies. No one will believe that I changed my mind.”

“They have rape kits. There’s plenty of people that know you wouldn’t lie.”

This was unbearable; seeing the pain washing over him as he desperately searched for a way to console me. I understood that he meant well, but after my talk with Becca had gone terribly wrong I knew that making a formal report would deem more difficult. This was where Ethan wasn’t going to understand. He wouldn’t get that I’d rather bury this secret than have the whole world knowing my business. He couldn’t understand that I wouldn’t be able to handle the ridicule that I’d receive from everyone if this came out.

I’d had long enough time to debate on what I wanted to do. Becca had helped me make that decision with her response. I knew that if I couldn’t even convince her, than I didn’t have a chance at winning the respect of the rest of my peers, not when Seth was such a popular person on campus.

“I don’t expect you to find a resolution for me. What’s done can’t be erased.” My body began to shake, and when I looked up into Ethan’s eyes all I saw was pain.

They were glossed over, so much that I swore tears were about to fall. The only time I’d ever seen Ethan cry was when his grandfather passed away suddenly. He’d had a heart attack at the state fair in front of hundreds of town’s people. We’d been at the mall when he got the news, and was able to keep it together until we reached his truck in the parking lot. It was there that I watched my tough friend break.

While thinking about that moment I hadn’t noticed Ethan reaching his hand out to touch mine. Even though it startled me, his warm embrace was much needed, although it wasn’t going to go any further. “I can’t make the decisions for you, Chris, but I sure as hell know I can find that son-of-a-bitch and beat the shit out of him.”

I pulled my hand away and put both up to my face. “It won’t help. It won’t make me forget what happened.”

“I get that you don’t want to tell anyone, but can you at least tell me why? Why can’t we call your parents? Why can’t we call the police? You can’t hide out in your room for the rest of your life. This guy needs to pay for what he’s done, and the longer you wait the harder it’s goin’ to get.”

Turning in his direction was a mistake. I was overcome with guilt. “What if it’s my fault? What if I led him on? We weren’t strangers, Ethan. I already told you this. Whatever you’re tryin’ to do it’s not goin’ to help. Besides, I’m pretty sure that goin’ to the authorities will somehow make me lose my scholarship, which in turn would destroy my parents.”