Christian (The Mitchell/Healy Family #3)(43)
Author: Jennifer Foor

He smiled, leaned forward and kissed me softly on the forehead. Then as he was pulling away, he found my lips. He didn’t push it and try to make it more. Only his lips pressed over mine; no tongue involved or groping hands. I wasn’t ready for that, not even with Ethan. His gentle embrace was short-lived, but enough to tell me that he wasn’t going anywhere. It was enough reassurance for one night.

The next morning the same officer stopped by the hospital to see me. Since my parents hadn’t yet arrived, I urged Ethan to stay with me. He held my hand as the officer explained to me what was going on with my case. “The truth is that the prosecution doesn’t have enough evidence to take this case. Without DNA or a witness, or someone else that can attest to being a victim of this guy, it’s your word against his.”

“So what does this mean?”

The man looked down as he spoke. “It means that he’ll be released sometime today.”

I sat up, immediately gasping for air. Ethan had gone after him, thinking he’d be locked up where he couldn’t get to me. Now the officer was telling me that he’d be released. “What if he comes after me?” My question was more for Ethan, but the officer answered for him.

“We don’t think he will. He’s going to lay low, in fear of us digging up new information. In the meantime I’m going to take a trip out to that house. We’ll take the mattress back to the lab and run it for DNA. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to have a lot of strains to go through, so be patient. It can take weeks, sometimes even months for that kind of extensive research.”

Everything out of his mouth was making me lose hope. “I understand.”

Ethan didn’t though. “What if you match their DNA. Can you arrest him then?”

“Again it’s a he said she said. With the video of their consensual encounter it will be difficult to prove she was assaulted only a little while later. I’m sorry I don’t have better news.”

I shook my head and wiped away residual tears. “I get it. In order to take him down I either have to be brutally left for dead, or have recorded the whole attack.”

“The key is collecting evidence. Had you come into the hospital on the night of the attack, we could have done the rape kit. It would have helped, but again, this case relies on hard evidence. There are a lot of fraudulent cases out there with women who only want to cause men problems. We have to consider each one to be real until we can prove otherwise. I believe that you were attacked that night, but unfortunately we have nothing solid to use.”

When the officer started to leave my parents were just walking in. He talked to them out in the hallway. Ethan and I watched through the glass as they were given the bad news. I knew they were pissed at me for not going straight to the authorities. They didn’t need to remind me of my mistakes. I had to live with them just as much as they did.

Ethan squeezed my hand. “We need to talk about somethin’, babe.”

“I can’t right now. They’re goin’ to come in and tell me they’ll be able to help me, but the truth is that we both know I won’t be goin’ back to school, not that one at least. I can’t face those people, and know what they’re sayin’ behind my back. I know the campus is huge, but I’m liable to run into one of them. I can’t handle it.

I think it’s best if I transfer to another school. Maybe I can take the semester off, get into counseling, and then start somewhere fresh. The only way I’m goin’ to get through this is if I start gettin’ help. I can’t live like this. It hasn’t even been a week and I’ve been through every emotion possible. I’m so tired.”

“I know. I get it.” He looked away, and I could tell he was upset. We’d made plans to go to school together, and now I had to break another one of our pacts. I couldn’t hate myself more.

“I’m sorry, Ethan.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m not mad, not at you at least. I get why you can’t go back, and as hard as it is to hear, I know it’s for the best.”

I tried to make him lighten up with a joke. “At least now you won’t have to hide me from your late night visitors.”

He peered at me, his brows furrowed and eyes were frustrated. “I don’t give a shit about them.”

“Ethan, it’s time that we stopped pretendin’. The promises we made, the pact, we were children when we did that. We’ve grown together, and experienced so many things, but let’s be realistic. I only agreed to all of that stuff because I thought you’d one day change your mind and want to be with me. I thought that if I went along with that plan it would make you love me the way I loved you. I didn’t just want you to be my first. Back then I wanted you to be my forever.”

Ethan was a tough guy. Since he didn’t get emotional very often, I could tell that what I’d said had hurt him. It was extremely confusing, especially after he’d told me he’d gone out to get ass the night before. I couldn’t begin to fathom how breaking our pact could hurt him. He was mature enough to understand that what I was saying was true.

My parents walked in, making our current conversation too inappropriate to talk about. I think what really shocked me was right after that he’d got up and left. I figured he walked outside to give me time with my parents, but he never returned.

A few hours later I was discharged. My parents had changed their minds and decided to take me home where I could rest comfortably.

I slept a little on the ride home, and was welcomed by my family when we reached the ranch. After everyone made sure I was in one piece, they went off to go about their day. Even though she checked on me a little too often, my mom was the only person to check on me.

Throughout the day I checked my cell phone, hoping for a call or message from Ethan. I tried to reach him several times with no response. It hurt my feelings, but I knew I couldn’t focus on him being immature about our little teenage pact.

Every minute of every hour I’d been thinking about my attack. I’d thought about other women and what they’d gone through, and even considered going back to meetings until I felt comfortable enough to share my own story. I knew mine didn’t compare to some, but I’d been told that it didn’t matter. When a women says no it should be final. There is no maybe, or probably if you push me to it.

No is no!

Twenty-four hours went by and I still hadn’t heard anything from Ethan. My mom had made an appointment for me to meet with a new psychiatrist. Even as nervous as I was to talk about it all again, I somehow knew that each time was helping me cope. I wasn’t as shaken up as I was those first couple nights. I still didn’t like the idea of being touched, but being able to comfortably be in the room with a stranger was a step in the right direction.