Christian (The Mitchell/Healy Family #3)(37)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“Sorry. I was helpin’ a friend. What are you doin’ now?”

“Why? Do you want to come over?”

“I’m already on the way.”

“I don’t have anything to eat. If you’re hungry you might want to grab something out.”

“I’m hungry for something else. Be naked. I’ll see you in five minutes.”

Determined to wash my mind of Christian, I planned to bury myself in someone else. It was the wrong choice, but the only way. She’d hurt me, forcing me to seek reprieve. I’d have to address the problem, but until I was able to do that, I had to get some release.

Chapter 23

Christian

I didn’t get why all of a sudden he was leaving me alone. Out of nowhere he’d recalled something that was more important than being my shoulder to cry on. I waited until I heard the front door shut before walking inside. The first thing I noticed was that he’d left his laptop, meaning this wasn’t about school. Whatever my dear friend was doing had nothing to do with catching up on assignments.

I sat down as his computer and started researching sites about rape victims. It helped to read the stories and relate to each experience. In some ways it was more support than anyone I knew could have given me. The women, and even men, lost themselves because of vicious acts done to them. They knew what I was going through, having the knowledge of it happening to them. We all had a common goal of recovering, and no matter how many stories I read they all ended the same.

The victims wanted justice.

I closed my eyes and thought about Seth. I imagined how wonderful he’d been the night we first met, and how good of a time we’d had playing drinking games and retreating back to my room. I recalled all of his innuendos, which creeped me out. He was so gentle that first time, making sure he satisfied me first. How could one day have changed him so much? It was like he’d become a monster. Had me walking away from him, rejecting him, caused Seth so much rage that he’d found it necessary to rip me apart, leaving me like some piece of trash?

I tried to shake off my scenarios, but nothing would work. I felt abandoned by Ethan, and he hadn’t even provided me with an explanation. What bothered me the most was that he didn’t even kiss me goodbye. It was his brand, yet why in my most emotional state had he done that?

After going into a crying fit I closed out my internet box, leaving only his email left open. When I saw the name of the last sender my heart jumped. It didn’t take me but a second to click on it and see what it was about.

I think after the first sentence my mouth hung open. He’d taken everything and turned it around on me, making me seem like a liar. I got up and ran to the bathroom vomiting out the little amount of food I’d consumed. While I lingered there on the bathroom floor I cried out for God to help me through this, because without Ethan I’d have no one else I could trust. Sure, my parents were wonderful, but they only saw one way out of all this, and I wasn’t ready to let that be my only option.

Feeling discontent, I dialed Ethan’s number, prepared to do whatever it took to plead my case. Yes, I’d gone against our stupid little pact that we’d made years ago, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t been with a slew of women. He knew how I felt about him and went about flaunting his perversions to me every chance he got. He’s lucky I stuck around and tolerated it, because many other women in my situation would have wised up and moved on.

After it rang several times his voicemail picked up. I knew for a fact that he never listened to his messages, so I hung up and redialed the number. I continued repeating those steps until he finally answered the call, out of breath. “What?”

“I know why you left, Ethan. I saw the video and I can explain. I swear I can. Please just hear me out before you make any assumptions.”

“Like what, Chris? Like assuming that you weren’t really attacked at all? I can’t stop seein’ you with your lips wrapping around his -.”

“Stop it! Please don’t even talk about it.”

“Why? It looked like you were pretty into it. It’s why I’m havin’ trouble believin’ that a few hours later you were raped. Tell me how that works. Do you agree to give oral, but not ass?”

His words hurt me. “Why is it such a big deal to you? We made that pact years ago. It’s not like you want to be with me anyway. You’ve done nothin’ but tell me we’re just friends.”

“Don’t you dare change the subject.” He wanted explanations that I wasn’t willing to think about. I had no excuse for why I did that to Seth. I also couldn’t explain how in just a little amount of time I’d changed my mind about him completely. The man that picked me up and took me to that abandoned house wasn’t the same person I’d been intimate with. He was intoxicated, and had become violent.

“Well, don’t you dare walk out on me when I need you the most.”

“I’m hangin’ up now. Maybe I need some time to unwind before I come home. It’s best that I calm down so I won’t say somethin’ I could regret later. Right now I feel like I can’t trust you, and to be honest, it fuckin’ hurts. I always thought that pact meant somethin’. It was put into place for a reason.”

All of a sudden I heard a female talking to him in the background. “Who’s that?”

“She’s a friend, which is more than I can say for you at the moment.” It stabbed me right through my heart. Never in my life had I ever felt so broken. This was the man I loved, and I’d pushed him into another woman’s arms. If my life wasn’t over before, it certainly was now.

“Ethan, please don’t hang up. I need you.”

The line went dead, and I was left to suffer the consequences of yet another poor decision. Ethan was so angry with me, and I wasn’t used to that. He’d always been my rock. The idea of him not trusting me was almost as serious as everything else I was going through.

My crying fit was short-lived. A knock on the door startled me, sending me to peek out the tiny peep hole. Seeing my parents standing on the opposite side of the door made me nauseous. There was no way out of this. I had to go with them, and seek assistance, because my best friend wanted nothing to do with me.

When I opened the door I didn’t speak. There were no words I could say to make this any less awkward. I’d run away like a child, and now I’d been caught. “Where’s Ethan?”

“He had to run out.” As much as I wanted him by my side, I couldn’t tell my father where he’d really gone. My parents always assumed that he was it for me. In my eyes they were right, even when Ethan only wanted to be my friend.