Christian (The Mitchell/Healy Family #3)(50)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I hadn’t seen my sister since she’d gone to rehab. I remember her looking so fragile, with eyes glossed over. The girl that was walking toward us had put on at least ten pounds. Her hair was styled, and she was smiling. Though she still looked tired, I could tell she was thrilled to see us both standing there. We hugged her at the same time, and that’s where my emotions went awry. We never bonded like this, yet both of us needed each other more than we’d care to admit. “I’m sorry for what happened to you,” she whispered in my ear.

“Same here,” I said back.

My dad let us stand there embracing for quite some time. I could tell from his grimace that he appreciated the way we were behaving. He had tears in his eyes, which was a rarity.

He put his hand on my shoulder. “Let’s get you both home. Mom’s been cookin’ all day.”

“I can’t wait to eat something with taste,” Addy said as we began walking toward the exit.

In that moment I wasn’t thinking about myself, my failures, and what I hadn’t yet overcome. I was grateful for my beautiful family and content knowing that above anything else, they were what I needed the most right now.

I’d been looking everywhere for a best friend, feeling like nobody would ever understand, yet my sister, who was only one year apart from me in age, was right beside me, needing the same kind of companionship. It was a true revelation.

My love life was going to have to wait, because it was time for me to accept what I couldn’t change, and look forward to the person I was meant to be.

Chapter 31

Ethan

I couldn’t wait to tell her the news. I was both excited and worried. She was going to be so angry with me. Still, I felt like I had good reason to stay away. My timing may have sucked, but I needed to figure some things out for myself. Mostly I needed to come to terms that there were things in life I’d never be able to change. I couldn’t look at my friend and see someone fragile. I needed to be able to know for sure that without her strength she wouldn’t have come so far.

Pulling up at the ranch made me a bit leery. There was a chance that Chris had told her father to make sure I never stepped foot near her again, though I don’t think she’d still be leaving me messages if she felt that way. Still, my guilt over not being there stressed me. How was I ever going to make up for betraying her friendship? How was I going to look her in the eyes, knowing I’d loved her for so long, and tell her that my decisions had been the reason for everything that happened to her? I should have made better choices, and not relied on damn scientific results about relationship odds. How incredibly selfish I’d been to assume she’d wait around for me to wise up?

After I’d made it through the entrance gates, and found my way down the long dirt lane, I pulled up in front of the large log home belonging to her parents. Facing her dad was going to be a challenge in itself.

I looked in the rearview mirror at my reflection, trying to psych myself some courage. “You’ve got this, dude. Be honest with them.”

When I climbed the porch steps and knocked, her mother answered the door. She smiled immediately, giving me a bit of reassurance. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Mitchell. I was hopin’ to see Christian if that’s alright.”

She frowned. “It would be if she were here. Colt took her to pick up Addy. She was released today.”

I smiled, even though I felt disappointed. “That’s great news. I’m sure it’ll be nice to have them all home.”

“Why don’t you come inside? I haven’t seen you in a while, and could use the company.” I stepped inside as she continued to speak. “I’ve got some fresh tea made. Would you like some?”

“Certainly. That would be great.”

I followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the small table. She’d been busy cooking up a storm. There were pots of food on each burner, and the aroma was heavenly. “Here you go. I added some lemon, just like you always asked for.”

I guess there was a time when I was a fixture at the ranch. It was nice having her remember little things. It made me feel as if she didn’t have a problem with my visit. “How’s she doin’, Christian, I mean. How is she?”

“She’s improving every day. Sometimes it’s still pretty tough on her. She’s in therapy, and seems to be doing well with that. She misses you, Ethan, she doesn’t talk about it much, but I can tell.”

Right away I felt that guilt-punch again. “Mrs. Mitchell, I-.”

“Savanna. Mrs. Mitchell is my mother-in-law,” she corrected.

I smiled and continued on. “I never should have stayed away. I know that. It’s just that I couldn’t be the person she wanted me to be. It was a dumb decision, brought on by years of regret. The truth is I’ve been a coward, hidin’ behind what could have happened, instead of lettin’ it play out. My goals got pushed to the side, leavin’ me to make bad choices, and to push the one person most important away.”

She turned and leaned on the table, looking me right in the eyes. “Ethan, Colt and I have known you’ve been in love with our daughter for a very long time. If taking a break was what was needed for you to see that, then I’m glad you did it. It’s never too late to tell someone how you feel. Sure, you might not get the expected result, but you’ll feel better that they know. You can’t regret what you’ve never tried.”

Her kind words were reassuring, right at a moment where I was questioning my intentions. “Yeah, it’s taken me a while to get my act together I suppose.”

She got back to working at the stove as she continued to converse with me. “You should stay for dinner. We’ve got plenty of food.”

“It seems like tonight’s a celebration for family. I don’t want to impose, ma’am.”

“Ethan, you are family.”

“I don’t know if Chris would see it that way, especially now.”

“Nonsense. You’re staying. I insist.”

I wasn’t going to argue with the woman about a meal I knew would blow me away. Her cooking skills were amazing. She could make liver and onions taste like filet mignon.

We sat there for a time catching up on day to day life. After a while it felt like I hadn’t spent any time away from the family.

It wasn’t until we heard the vehicle pull up out up front that I started to fret. This wasn’t like seeing her mom’s welcoming smile. It wasn’t like two star-crossed lovers finally finding each other after time apart. I’d walked away from her, abandoning her after I’d promised never to do such a thing. There was a good chance she was going to tell me to go to hell.