Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)(23)
Author: K.A. Linde

Lexi hardly believed her. Bekah was another Danielle…another Kate. Everything they had was normal and expected. There was no way that she could have even a semblance of understanding as to what she had gone through. "The lying really got to me. I was terrible at it. Jack wasn’t." Lexi knew she was reminding her about the lying just to be cruel. She wanted Bekah to ask Jack questions about it. She wanted to make her uncomfortable. She just couldn’t stand the idea of sharing a feeling with this girl. It just felt wrong. Left her idea of Jack tainted and she wouldn’t stand for it. "He didn’t understand why I wasn’t okay with lying to my boyfriend, when he thought we were so perfect for each other. When he thought that there would never be another girl as amazing as me," Lexi added spitefully.

Bekah’s blue eyes met Lexi’s, and the understanding that had been there only seconds before was replaced by the deep loathing Lexi had seen the last time lying had been brought up.

"Well if isn’t my two favorite girls," Jack said coming up to them seemingly out of nowhere. He could tell that in his absence things hadn’t exactly gone over so well. Bekah looked more pissed than he had ever seen her. Actually, this might be the first time he had ever really seen Bekah angry. He knew Lexi had a strange effect on people, but he hadn’t considered what kind of toll that would take on Bekah. Lexi looked like she would rather be anywhere else right then. The tension in the atmosphere could be cut with a dull butter knife. He wasn’t sure what he had just walked into, but it couldn’t be good.

Bekah glared up at him as the last words left his tongue. Lexi just smiled weakly not entirely sure how to take that statement.

"Uh…I brought your suitcase," he told Lexi off-hand, attempting to make conversation. "I thought we could just go to Bekah’s before the party tonight, and you could change there. Her place is just right around the corner."

Lexi arched one-eyebrow in disbelief. He actually believed that she was going to go to this party? After the disastrous conversation with Bekah and the embarrassing confrontation with Ramsey, there was no way she ever wanted to hang out with these two again. "Oh, well I’m not going."

Jack opened his mouth to protest, but Bekah got there first. "What do you mean you’re not going? You already said that you would go."

"Well no, I never actually said that. Everything was just kind of decided for me," she reminded him. The events of that afternoon had transpired so quickly that Lexi hadn’t even had time to decline the party invitation.

"But he assumes you’ll be there," Bekah told her.

Lexi wasn’t sure why Bekah was trying to get her to go to this thing. She obviously didn’t like her, and that was just fine with Lexi. All Lexi really wanted right then was an extra-large New York style pizza, sweatpants, and endless hours of super sappy chick flicks. "Well, he’ll just have to get over it. I can’t make it."

"What do you have to do?" Jack asked.

"Family."

"Aren’t you spending the rest of the week with them?" he continued to probe her.

"Well…yeah."

"Then you can come out for just one night with us," Bekah told her, standing and possessively entwining her fingers with Jack’s.

Lexi thought she might vomit at the sight. Her stomach was rolling and she didn’t like it. She just needed to get away. She needed to get away right then.

Something was up with Bekah, and Lexi knew it. This girl couldn’t be everything she acted like she was. Her emotions were all over the charts. She took every statement as if it were a personal blow against her. And Lexi was just trying to be honest! Well, so maybe she was telling the truth a little too blunt, because this girl got under her skin. But who cares? As soon as she had met Bekah, Lexi knew that this couldn’t be the girl that Jack was going to marry. He just could not be with her. The sweet and innocent act that her looks conveyed only went skin deep and Jack could do better. He had dated her after all.

With all these thoughts rolling around in her head, Lexi knew that the best thing for her would be to get away as soon as possible. She didn’t want to do anything to sabotage their relationship. If Jack had wanted Lexi, then he would have called her sometime in the past year and a half. But he hadn’t. And Lexi had to deal with that fact. She had to deal with knowing that he hadn’t chosen her. He didn’t want her.

It hurt. Damn, did it hurt! But she wouldn’t do anything to change it.

But the other side – the less logical side – kept wondering why, if Jack did want Bekah, did he almost kiss Lexi last night? Why did he come home a day early from his trip to see her, and not tell Bekah about it?

That was the side that agreed to go to Ramsey’s party. The side that wanted to know if Jack still cared about her, the way that she cared about him. If perhaps, Bekah was just the next best alternative as he had described her to be.

* * *

K.A. Linde

Ebb and Flow

This love has taken its toll on me

She said goodbye too many times before

And her heart is breaking in front of me

I have no choice cause I won’t say goodbye anymore

-Maroon 5 "This Love"

* * *

Chapter 8: May Three Years Earlier

Lexi stared wistfully out the backseat window across the changing terrain. The rolling hills had eased into a flat expanse anticipating the coming ocean front. She could almost smell the distinct scent of salt mingled in the air. Decrepit signs, interspersed amongst the neon bulbs flashing from the street side, caught her eyes only briefly before locking with the next tethered old business vying to compete with the beach environment only twenty minutes away. Palm trees had started springing up about forty-five minutes back, and Lexi’s desire to be beach-side, sprawled out with the sand between her toes, had grown exponentially since then.

"Babe, chill out. You’re doing that thing with your hair again," Clark said snatching her hand from her face and clutching it tightly in his.

Startled out of her focused gazing, her mouth popped open and she glanced into Clark’s soothing green eyes. He had on a green intramural soccer shirt which only intensified the shade she had only ever seen on him. She quickly closed her mouth and smiled back into his charming face. "Sorry," Lexi said biting her bottom lip and suggestively raising her eyebrows at him feeling the all too familiar desire to kiss him creep through her.

He traced the palm of her hand with his thumb and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "We’ll be there soon. I know you’re anxious."

Lexi giggled looking at him coyly across her shoulder. "Oh yes, I’m very…anxious."

He smiled warmly back at her, but was interrupted from responding by Seth. "None of that lovey-dovey shit back there. We’re not even putting you two in the same room. The walls are too thin for all that," Seth said laughing as both their faces turned to pouts. Lexi’s distinctly more-so.

"Whatever Seth," Lexi said leaning forward across the center of the seat. She ignored Luke seated in the passenger seat ogling her cl**vage bulging out of her tiny halter top, and ruffled Seth’s hair. "You can’t honestly expect us to stay off of each other."

"I’m not expecting it. No. But you can do that shit during the day. There isn’t enough space at night for you two to be in the same room." Lexi leaned forward farther giving Seth a decidedly better view of her rack. "And," he responded taking in the full view of her, "if you think that," he indicated towards her br**sts, "is going to change anything, you’re wrong." Despite his comment, she could tell his breathing was getting shallow. Men!

Clark grabbed her waist in his hands fully and pulled her back towards him. He snaked an arm around her shoulders, and drawing her into him kissed her passionately. "I think we’ll make up for it. Don’t you?" he asked nibbling on her bottom lip.

A small moan escaped her mouth, but she pulled back shortly afterwards. She didn’t mind being flirtatious around their friends; however, she had to draw the line somewhere. Clark rarely liked where the line was drawn. She let her gaze shift back out the window as they reached the strip where Seth’s parents’ beach house was situated.

Seth’s parents were celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary by cruising for seven blissful days in the Mediterranean. He had taken the liberty of securing…eh stealing a key to their new house from his younger sister, and had instantly invited as many of his closest friends to join him for the conveniently planned week before graduation. Many had turned down the invitation since it did fall so close to graduation, but eight had eventually agreed and were now situated in two cars driving towards their vacation destination.

Lexi had initially been anxious about the arrangements. Several people in attendance had lived with Jack at one point in time, and all of the people going knew him. But when Clark had excitedly invited her for his pre-graduation vacation, she hadn’t been able to tell him why she felt unsure about going on a free week long trip to the beach when her summer job hadn’t started.

Clark. She sighed happily just thinking about him. She had met him through Jack originally. He hadn’t known all the details of what had gone on between them at the time, but he’d learned enough to put the pieces together. When Clark had inadvertently stumbled across Lexi at the mall, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from asking her out even knowing about her and Jack. He unintentionally confessed that he’d always thought she was way too good for Jack, and surprisingly enough, not even close to Jack’s type. Lexi had frozen up at the offer. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to say yes. Clark was a friend of Jack’s. Awkward. And even worse, he knew at least some of what they had gone through. Even more awkward. After what had happened with Jack while she had dated Spencer, she blushed even thinking about how horrible it would be if she found herself in a similar situation.

Clark hadn’t been offended by her lack of exuberance, but stayed persistent promising her a nice casual evening out. Lexi had never really thought about Clark in a romantic sense. She had always been clouded by her blind desire for Jack. Even as she accepted his polite invitation, she hadn’t realized quite how handsome he was.

Their first date was nothing out of the ordinary. He had taken her to a nice dinner, not too expensive, but still nice. Afterwards, he surprised her by taking her to a local ice cream shop for dessert. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had that much fun. Clark was easy going yet attentive to her. He seemed to genuinely care what she was talking about, and what she was interested in. Something about him that night remained permanently etched into her memory. Clark just got her. They just clicked. It was strange even then for Lexi to feel like Clark understood something about her that perhaps, even she didn’t.

But she couldn’t help seeing Jack in him that night. They had some similarities, but for the most part they were nothing alike. But when she looked at Clark, she could remember another time when things had been this easy with Jack. Feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of being physical with Clark after having those improper thoughts, she left him with only a simple good night kiss. After that night, Lexi couldn’t deny that she liked Clark.

He kept calling and eventually, without even realizing it, they were a couple.

A few rather uncomfortable situations had occurred, in which, she was forced into civil environments with Jack. She usually extracted herself as quickly as possible making whatever excuse came to mind. Recently, it had happened less frequently, and it really made things easier between her and Clark.