Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)(62)
Author: K.A. Linde

"Why are you saying this to me?" she cried angrily springing from her seat. "I don’t need to hear this from you Clark."

"Lexi, sweetie, I’m trying to apologize," he said rising alongside her.

"And I appreciate that, but we can’t do…this," she said, the thought sickening her. "How could you even want that after everything that we’ve been through?"

"You were always what I wanted. Don’t you see that? I was going to give you a second chance after you cheated on me for nearly a year with one of my best friends. Can’t you see that you were what I wanted? Then you just threw that in my face."

"You made me hurt him," she whispered.

"He deserved to be hurt, and Kate stayed with him anyway. I hear they’re still together," he told her in an effort just to piss her off. He took a step towards her.

She didn’t take the bait. Her brain told her that if she announced her secret just then this would quickly turn into an all out shouting match. She didn’t need that. "You’ll never get over it," she cried angrily pushing him backwards out of her face. "It’s been a year Clark, and you’re still not over it."

"God damnit, Lexi! I hadn’t even thought about this in such a long time, and now here we are arguing about it again."

"That’s because you won’t let this go. You come to see me on your vacation, or so you say, and then bring this shit up?" she cried.

"Look I am here on my vacation, but I didn’t come here to fight with you. I just came to try and make amends. Obviously we’re amazing at this," he stated sarcastically. "So can we try and start over even just as friends?" he asked her.

"I’m not sure how well that would work," a voice called from the stairs below them.

Lexi stomach turned as the familiar voice hit her ears. She turned slowly and found Jack walking up the stairs towards them. She knew that he had been on his way over, and had hoped to get Clark out of her before he arrived. Somehow they had got to arguing and that just hadn’t happened.

Jack’s fiery blue eyes met her own eyes and her heart swooned. She had also forgotten that he was supposed to be dressed up for their evening out in celebration of the end of first semester finals. He looked amazing and she couldn’t even break away for long enough to see Clark seething at the sight of Jack.

"You’ve got to be f**king kidding me," Clark muttered upon Jack’s arrival. "Lexi, tell me you’re kidding," he cried reaching out and grasping her arm.

Jack was there in an instant. "You should let her go," he said enunciating each word clearly. The two met eye-to-eye, Clark only an inch or two taller than Jack, but he released her nonetheless.

Lexi moved between the two guys in an effort to put distance between them. This was the last thing she had wanted to happen when she had agreed to talk to Clark. "Guys just chill out," Lexi said her voice lacking conviction.

"I can’t believe I even came by," Clark stated glaring menacingly at Jack.

"Me either," Jack snarled putting his arm protectively around Lexi’s shoulders.

"Can you both just back off please? This is all one big misunderstanding," Lexi muttered frantically.

"Oh no I don’t think it is. I was standing in this stairwell long enough to hear the majority of ya’ll’s conversation. I think I understand completely what is going on here," Jack announced.

"Fuck off Jack. What they f**k are you even doing here? Aren’t you and Kate still together?" Clark snarled.

"No we’re not still together," he cried vehemently pushing Lexi out of the way and shoving Clark against the wall. "You want to know why I’m here?"

"Jack!" Lexi cried rushing back towards him and yanking at his arm.

Clark glared evenly at Jack. "I’m here because we’re together. Lexi and I are together."

"Right," Clark drawled rolling his eyes.

"Clark, don’t egg him on," Lexi yelled trying to pull at Jack’s hard muscles.

"Do you have something to say?" Jack asked pounding his fist into the wall next to Clark’s head.

"Jack, just stop!" Lexi yelled again. Suddenly, Clark tilted his head back against the stone wall and laughed. Lexi stared open mouthed at him. "What is so goddamned funny?" she asked her southern accent slipping out with her anger.

Clark shoved Jack’s arm away forcing him to take a step backwards. He laughed again deep in his diaphragm and stared between the two of them. "You two are funny. Maybe I was wrong about you Lexi. You two deserve each other," he spat.

The words came out like an insult. He meant that they were two of the same kind of people. That no matter where Jack and Lexi ended up they were destined to hurt someone else. Maybe even continue on a never-ending path of hurting each other.

Clark brushed past the two of them and stumbled down the flight of stairs. Lexi watched him go her heart wrenching with his departure. How had this veered so far off course? She sighed heavily running her fingers through her long locks. She tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape the ducts of her eyes.

It wasn’t so much what Clark had said, because a part of her had always believed his words. She had known all along that her and Jack were meant to be. They were cut from the same mold which is why they had always worked so well together. He was the other half of her whole.

The situation in its entirety is what had gotten her riled up. She thought that these moments were over in her life. She had been blinded by her happiness with Jack. Sure she thought about the bad times, but she hadn’t allowed herself to dwell on them. There was no need. But now, with Clark’s recent reappearance into her existence, the memories rushed back into her mind like a flash flood. And this time her mind was raw. It hurt worse than she had remembered.

"Lexi?" Jack asked as she collapsed into his arms. "Are you okay? Don’t listen to him. Just don’t even think about it. He’s such an a**hole. I could kill him for hurting you."

Lexi shook her head. Her body was trembling as he wrapped his arms around her waist lifting her from her feet as he stood straight. She wouldn’t let the tears fall. She simply couldn’t let the tears fall. As Jack held her closely, her breathing slowed and her trembling eased. His embrace was more comforting than anything else could be. It let the memories be pushed back into the box that encased them in her mind.

After a minute, she spoke, "I’m fine Jack. It’s not what he said. It’s just what he made me remember."

He set her down on her feet resting his head on her forehead. "I know."

"It’s okay," she murmured.

"It’s not okay," he uttered wrenching back and looking into her dark brown eyes. "Lex, it’s not okay."

Lexi sighed heavily and took a step backwards. "You’re right. It’s not okay. We’ve moved on. So…let’s just move on," she said yanking the stairwell door open and walking through it without waiting for his response.

She heard Jack’s footsteps behind her, but he was smart enough not to come any closer. When she reached her doorway, she strolled inside. A chorus of questions bombarded her upon entry. The cacophony pained her fragile eardrums and she held her hand up to silence them. Surprisingly, the girls stopped at once. Their dramatic gossip before she returned must have made them realize that something had gone on, and with Jack in tow, they didn’t care to embarrass themselves.

"Jack is here now," she murmured, "Feel free to ogle him. That’s much more normal than the rest of my life," she said walking into the only bedroom and shutting the door.

She heard whispers on the other side as the girls hypothesized what had occurred. Then a knock sounded on the door. "Lex," Jack smooth voice called out to her.

"Just give me a minute," Lexi told him taking a seat on the cold tile floor and hugging her knees to her chest. She just needed a second to let the waves of emotion fall off her shoulders. A few deep healing breaths later, Lexi stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Beyond the wild look in her eye, she didn’t look any different than before. Her make-up hadn’t smudged and since she hadn’t allowed herself to cry over the pain, she didn’t have any mascara streaks. Pleased with her appearance, Lexi plastered a smile on her face and exited the bathroom.

"So are you guys ready to party?" she asked tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

The faces before her did not look as convinced that they were ready to party as she had hoped they would be. Claire and Elizabeth weren’t even eyeing Jack as they had promised. Jack’s face was ashen with worry for her, but she could see something else in his eyes. She wasn’t quite sure what he was feeling at the present moment. And all she wanted to do was get this night over with so they could crawl into bed together. Rachelle was the only person who hopped up out of her chair at Lexi’s announcement. She smiled politely meeting Lexi’s eye and winked.

The two girls hustled everyone out of the apartment and into the awaiting cab. Claire and Elizabeth seemed to regain their typical bubbly personality, and kept the ride interesting. Luckily, neither Jack nor Lexi had to participate much in the conversation to keep them talking. Jack paid the cab as the girls climbed out of the backseat and onto the sidewalk.

"Miss Lexi," Bernard, Chyna’s doorman, said tipping his hat and smiling brightly.

"Hey Mr. B, it’s good to see you!" she told him sincerely. "You must be pretty busy tonight."

He shrugged. "You know how Miss Chyna can be with her parties." Lexi nodded. She sure did. "Well you have a good time. Try and keep her under control." He swung the door open and allowed them to enter Chyna’s building.

They could hear the loud music before the elevator doors dinged open on the top floor. Chyna had really outdone herself in celebration of the end of Lexi’s first semester. All of the lighting had been replaced with black lights. Strobe stage lighting hung from the ceiling reflecting off the blank walls and the mass of bodies grinding to the techno beats blaring from studio speakers. The sunken-in living room had been emptied of furniture and converted into a dance floor. Lexi couldn’t differentiate one person from another in the room.

Jack reached out and took Lexi’s hand in his own. His touch momentarily dispelled her earlier apprehensions. She led them through the crowded apartment amazed at how few of the people she actually recognized. A path cleared for them and they moved forward into the swinging double doors that led to the kitchen where a full bar was in service for the guests.

When they walked in, they found Chyna seated at the kitchen table, her head tilted backwards, an upside down margarita being poured into her mouth. She gulped down the tequila and stood. The crowd surrounding her cheered and she pumped her fist in the air in victory. Another girl took her place and Chyna bounded over to the group that had just arrived.

"Thank goodness you are here!" she cried wrapping her arms around Lexi. "My Alexa is just that much closer to being a lawyer. Which is fabulous, because you never know when I’ll need one," she said wiggling her eyebrows suggestively and bumping h*ps with Lexi.

"Lord I hope you never need one," Lexi mumbled.

Chyna giggled hysterically already beyond wasted for the evening. Lexi smiled letting Chyna’s infectious personality wash over her. Lexi settled into a corner of the kitchen with the rest of her entourage taking shots of varying colors. Rachelle, who never drank, even participated for the special occasion. After a few rounds, Claire and Elizabeth ran off to the living room claiming that they needed to get their groove on. Chyna hadn’t been able to suppress her laughter.