Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)(68)
Author: K.A. Linde

"I know what you mean," he whispered.

"Sorry I didn’t get to my phone. I’ll remember to take it with me next time," she apologized.

"Actually, we need to talk."

Warning signals began blasting off in her brain even worse than this morning. Those words were never a good sign. Nothing good could come from saying that. Her stomach plummeted as nerves took over her body. What could he want to talk to her about? Had something happened? She could feel her dehydrated body begin to shake from apprehension. "About what?" she managed to get out.

She could hear him take a deep breath. "Can I just come over?"

"Of course you can come over. You’re here all the time," she mumbled knowing it had to be bad if he had to ask to come over. She wasn’t sure why she was so paranoid about what was going to happen. After the voicemail last night, she couldn’t get over the nagging feeling that life was going to take her in a negative direction.

"Well I have to take care of some…stuff here and then I’ll be over so we can talk. Alright?"

She nodded swallowing heavily. Then she realized he couldn’t see her and said, "Yeah that’s fine."

"Bye," he said hanging up the phone quickly.

Lexi shut her phone and tossed it back into the mess on her desk. She yanked her hair out of the ponytail on the back of her head and let her mass of curls fall around her face. Brushing them out of her face with her fingers, she could feel some of the tension release from her body.

The events from the past twelve hours were replaying in her head. Where had things gone wrong? They had been…perfect at the party. God, they had been about to leave to have sex…make love until they had been interrupted.

The interruption.

What had Claire said about him leaving? That she had seen him exit the premises with some drunken blonde chick on his arm. Lexi could remember the look of disbelief in Claire and Chyna’s eyes when she had explained about the interview. They both had the same expression.

Their brows creased together, their eyes narrowed in on her, and their mouths were set with skepticism. They hadn’t believed that he would have an interview this late. Truthfully, who administered interviews at such an hour on a Friday night? It didn’t make sense. But she had been there when he had taken the call. Jack’s reaction matched what would happen if an unexpected person called about an interview. She hadn’t been able to hear the other side of the conversation, but she didn’t think that she had to. It was obvious that it was someone calling about an interview.

After all, he’d never lied to her before, why would he start now?

She gasped as she remembered the conversation. Had he been lying to her? He had been dubious of her easy acceptance of the situation. But there was no reason for him to be concerned about her reaction if he was really going to an interview. She never cared about any other interviews that he had gone on, and some of them had been pretty random. Her heart hurt at the thought that he might have lied to her. After everything, he had to know that was the most important part of their relationship…or whatever they were. She couldn’t figure out if he cared for her so much, and he obviously did because he had told Clark that they were together, why he would just start lying to her?

She shook her head not able to comprehend that concept. Her body hurt from running, lack of hydration, and chronic worrying. All she needed was a long hot shower and to chill the f**k out. No use worrying over something that she had no idea about. Everything her imagination was conjuring up was only successfully making her more worried about what had happened last night, and why he now so desperately needed to talk to her.

Taking the time to thoroughly wash away any lingering doubts, Lexi took extra long in the shower. She scrubbed every crevice washing away the sweat and grime from her run twice with her cranberry body wash. She lathered and rinsed her hair until it was silky smooth. When she cut off the water, the bathroom was thick with steam and the mirror completely obscured by fog. Typically, Lexi wasn’t the type of girl who primped, but today was not like other days.

After towel drying her hair, she blew it out until every long strand was dry. Then she pulled a straightener down until all the curls were gone and her hair hit her lower back. Black eyeliner rimmed her eyes and a layer of mascara touched her lashes. After adding a hint of rouge to her pale cheeks, she figured she had spent enough time in the bathroom. She was just amazed that no one had bothered her already. With only one bathroom between four people it was usually only a matter of time before someone came banging on the door.

As Lexi walked out of the bathroom, she did hear a knock coming from the door. She wrapped her skimpy white towel tightly around her body and scrambled towards the front door. "Jack," she cried as she opened the door. "I thought you had stuff to do."

He looked at her as if he were looking at her for the first time. The way her silky hair shined as the hallway light hit the strands. The way her side swept bangs fell neatly into her enormous brown eyes which only looked larger and more beautiful from the make-up she had careful applied. Her pale skin contrasted with the bleach white towel giving her a sun-kissed look. A smile broke out across his face as he took in the sight of her partly exposed body.

Lexi was glad she already had rouge on, because the way Jack was looking at her was sure made her blush. Even though she was worried about what had happened and he had seen her in much less, she couldn’t help but go red in the face.

"It’s been over an hour," he commented.

"Oh has it?" she asked embarrassed even further. She couldn’t remember ever taking over an hour in the shower. "Well are you going to come in?" she asked stepping aside and hugging her towel tight to her chest. She could feel it slipping out of place.

Jack stepped through the doorway allowing Lexi to close it behind him.

"I’ll just go change," Lexi said walking swiftly towards her bedroom. Jack followed behind taking a seat in her desk chair. She turned to face him without moving to get clothes out of her closet. "So what uh…stuff did you have to do?" she asked leaning back against her desk.

Jack averted his eyes to the floor. "Just had to get things taken care of. It’s no big deal."

"Oh," she said lamely. Lexi sucked her bottom lip into her mouth biting down lightly. She could tell that it was a big deal or he wouldn’t have to be so secretive about it. But she was already afraid of what he might say. There was no need to bring anything else up until he was ready.

Lexi sat back against the desk scooting over a few coffee mugs and notes from class and waited for Jack to speak. "I thought you were going to change," he noted once he finally spoke up. His eyes roamed her body.

"I was, but you wanted to talk to me first."

"I didn’t expect to speak to you nak*d," he murmured.

"I’m not nak*d," she told him pointing towards her tiny towel.

"Close enough."

"No it’s really not. You’ve seen me in less."

Jack cringed away at her words. Not a good sign. "Just…change."

"I’d rather we talk," she told him standing her ground.

"Fine," he muttered standing swiftly from the chair and knocking it back against the wall. Lexi jolted from where she was sitting. "So let’s talk."

Lexi waited. "Well I don’t know what you want to talk about," she whispered her eyes cast to the floor in anticipation.

"I don’t really know how to begin this."

"Are you," she choked on the words, "are you breaking up with me?" She felt tears welling in her eyes at the prospect. The way he was talking that was the only conclusion she could come to. He had realized he didn’t want her after all and they were not going to be working towards that relationship. It didn’t make sense. It didn’t make sense at all after what he had said to Clark, but she couldn’t see an alternative. She had been through break ups before and he was about hitting it on the nose.

"What?" he asked his mouth popping open. "No. Well I couldn’t anyway. We’re not in a relationship. I mean we’re together, but we’re not…you know…together."

Lexi really could not tell the difference anymore. They had been doing everything together for over a month, they had been sleeping together for over a year and a half, and they had been intimately involved emotionally for nearly four years. How much more could he want?

"So we’re not breaking up then?" she asked feeling pitiful.

"No, well, I dunno," he muttered.

Lexi coughed running her fingers through her stick straight hair, and trying not to cry. "Why don’t you know?"

"It all depends on you."

"Well I don’t want us to break up."

Jack smiled a true genuine smile reaching all the way up to his beautiful blue eyes. "Yeah?" he asked his smile beginning to wane. "Well you might change your mind."

"I don’t think so. I’ve made up my mind."

"Look Lex, I don’t want to lie to you. I told you I never would, and I want to stick by that."

Lexi’s heart was beating out of her chest. It was almost painful as the weight of it slammed forcefully back and forth against her ribcage. He had lied to her just as she had feared. She just didn’t know what it could be about. Was it the blonde girl? Did he not go to the interview? Did he lie to Clark about them being together?

"Well then don’t lie to me."

"I don’t want to," he said stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I just have to tell you something."

"What do you have to tell me?" she asked impatiently. "Is this about the girl Claire saw you leaving with last night?"

"Girl?" he asked confused. "No, it has nothing to do with that. She was just drunk and I was helping her out of the party and into a cab."

"Is this about the interview?" she couldn’t help asking.

"No…well yeah sort of, but please Lexi just let me speak," he finally commanded her. Lexi waited expectedly. "I…I slept with someone else last night."

It was Lexi’s turn to shoot up from her seat. "What?" she screeched nearly dropping her towel. She grappled for the loose material pulling it up to fully cover her body.

"I…yeah. I didn’t get the job. I just wanted to go home and crash, but then there was a huge party at my place. I couldn’t get any rest so I got hammered instead. One thing led to another and…"

"So you just slept with someone?" she asked in horror.

"Yeah. I’m sorry. I just f**ked up. It didn’t mean anything."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Oh I’m sorry Lexi it was just a meaningless fuck! How do you think that could help me? What the f**k were you thinking?" she questioned him pulling out a t-shirt and gym shorts from her dresser and hastily yanking them on. She felt exposed in her towel and realized now why he had wanted her to change.

"I wasn’t thinking. I was drunk and it just sort of happened," he yelled back.

"You’re absolutely ridiculous!"

"Stop getting so riled up. I came here to tell you because I couldn’t keep it from you. Isn’t that worth something?"

Lexi’s eyes narrowed as they zeroed in on him. "A very small something."

"Oh come on."