Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)(38)
Author: K.A. Linde

"Goddamnit Lexi!" he yelled turning around in place and visibly tensing at her words. He looked as if he were about to throw something across the room. "I already talked to Jack!"

Lexi froze in place. He had talked to Jack? She couldn’t believe it. He had gone to Jack after she left in the morning which is why it had taken him longer to get here. Jack had told him everything to save his own skin. Lexi meant nothing to him. She just wanted to cry. Why wouldn’t he have at least warned her that he had spoken to Clark. Unless of course she really did mean nothing to him. Everything he claimed to feel for her had just fallen away when he had been confronted by her angry boyfriend…his angry friend.

"You talked to Jack?" she whispered.

"Yes, he told me everything."

"Everything?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

"But nothing happened," she said attempting to stick to her story.

"Lexi," he began shaking his head. "I already talked to Jack. Don’t give me that. Now I don’t want to believe him, but I need to hear the truth from you," he said facing her cowering figure. "So tell me what happened between you and Jack."

Lexi gulped even harder this time fear glistening in her eyes. She realized that she was compulsively threading hair behind her ears from anxiety. She’d never wanted things to turn out this way, but somewhere along the way everything had been flipped upside down. How could she tell Clark what had happened between her and Jack? If she just blurted out the facts, it would make her look bad. Worse than she actually was, but if she left something out that Jack had divulged he would know she was lying and hiding things from him. It was the prisoner’s dilemma she had learned about in school. Except there was no winning side to giving away any information. "We slept together."

"You slept with him?" Clark asked hardly containing his disbelief. She nodded. "When?"

"May."

He did the math in his head. "Almost eight months ago?" he cried. "When did you have time? We were together all month."

She choked back tears before answering him honestly. "It was at the beach house."

"Are you f**king joking me? While I was asleep in the same house. Has it happened since then?" Lexi sighed heavily and shook her head no. "I don’t believe you. You mean to tell me that you f**ked eight months ago and it hasn’t happened once since then."

"No, it hasn’t. We decided not to."

"Oh for your own f**king sake," he paced rapidly around the room doing anything to keep from looking at her.

"It hasn’t happened again."

"How do you expect me to believe that?"

"Because it’s the truth."

"I don’t think you f**king know what that is." Lexi remained silent not wanting to egg on his anger. "Have you done anything else since then?"

"Yes. We kissed some and I would spend the night at his place."

"Oh you just kissed a little. You want me to believe that you spent the night and didn’t fuck? I told you not to lie to me."

"We didn’t do anything more."

"What about last night?" he asked cornering her.

"What about last night? Nothing happened."

"I wouldn’t say nothing! I saw you at Chamber with him all over you."

Lexi’s mouth dropped open. So she hadn’t been manic and delusional. Someone actually had been watching her all along. She couldn’t believe it. "You were watching me?"

"Yes and I’m not ashamed of it either. You would have never told me the truth, and I needed to see you guys together for real."

"I can’t believe you would do that."

"I know, because I’m not the scheming scumbag who goes behind people’s backs. That would be you and your little f**k buddy. I can’t f**king believe you Lexi. Were you careful? Did he get checked for diseases? How could you sleep with me after you slept with him? How could you even look at me with those beautiful big brown eyes of yours and tell me you love me? When you obviously don’t."

"I do love you," she said quietly.

"I don’t want to hear that from your deceitful, manipulative, lying mouth."

"I am so sorry Clark," Lexi gasped sucking in deep breaths between tears.

"I still can’t believe you actually slept with him" He crashed back against the bed burying his face into his hands. "You little whore."

Lexi’s glazed eyes stared down at him. Her humiliation was evident. "It wasn’t like that."

"You slept with him while you were with me," he said through clenched teeth. Finally, looking up at her, he said, "That makes you a whore." She brushed her palm against her cheeks forcefully. It did no good the tears kept coming faster. "After all that bullshit you fed me about you guys just being friends. After all the warnings I gave you about him." She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him as his anger intensified. "Fuck, Lexi, you told me yourself that you didn’t think he had been faithful with one person he’d ever been with. Why would you let this happen? How could you let this happen? Do you think you are special? Do you think he’s just going to leave Kate for you? He just wanted to f**k you. And, now he’s done that. Try to explain to me how that doesn’t make you a whore?" he spat at her.

She had no answer for him. She had never felt so belittled before in her life, and she knew that she deserved every word. She had made a terrible mistake, and then on top of that she had unsuccessfully attempted to hide her dirty actions. No wonder everyone had told her that she was acting uptight lately. She had been carrying around such a weight on her shoulders since that night in May; it was almost a relief that Clark knew.

"I just…I need to get out of here and think about this," Clark said standing resolutely. He brushed past her and entered the living room.

"Clark…" she cried as he pulled the door open. "What does this mean for…for us?"

"I really don’t know Lexi. I just can’t look at you right now. I’ll just…call you tomorrow after I’ve had time to think about all this," he said turning away from her and shutting the door.

Lexi crumpled to the floor and lay like a heap shuddering from the tears raking through her body. She could not believe that had just happened. How had she been so stupid, and let this happen? She was certain that she had just let the best guy she had ever had in her life slip through her fingers. After a minute, Olivia came out of her room and sat on the floor next to Lexi. She scooped her up in her arms and held her as she bawled.

"Did…did you…h…hear all…of that?" Lexi asked her through her tears.

"Yeah honey, I heard it. Why didn’t you just tell me? You know I would have been there for you. You know I would have kept everything a secret. I can’t believe you went through all of this alone," Olivia said brushing aside her bangs. The movement reminded her so much of Jack that it only intensified her tears.

"I…I don’t either. I just…thought…that I could…handle this," she muttered.

"Alright darling. You have to get up. Take a shower, and then things will look a little brigter."

Lexi nodded as Olivia ushered her out of the living room. "No!" she cried suddenly.

"What?"

"I have to go talk to Jack," Lexi decided.

"I don’t think that’s the best thing for you to do right now."

"Jack told him everything. How could he do that?"

"I’m almost certain Clark threatened him into it, but that doesn’t matter. Seeing that boy while you’re in this state is a really really bad idea."

"No, Livy let me go. I need to go find out why the hell he would tell him everything and then not warn me," she said pulling away from Olivia and running for her keys.

She was in the car before Olivia could utter another comment about staying home. She drove much too fast over to Jack’s house swerving to get around rather slow drivers. She skidded to a halt in his parking lot, and dashed out of the front seat. Bursting through the still unlocked door, Lexi darted into Jack’s room. She could tell he had gotten up and showered just by looking at him. Her heart melted at the sight. She was furious about what he had done, but her heart still longed for him. She wanted things to go back to the way they were only this morning. She wished with all her being that she didn’t have to be angry at him.

"Lexi what are you doing back already?" Jack asked surprise written on his face. "Are you okay? Have you been crying?" He rushed forward to meet her. She backed away not wanting to feel his hands on her.

"How could you tell him?" she asked breaking down into tears for the second time that morning.

* * *

K.A. Linde

Come What May

But this is something you can’t disguise

It’s not just me, you feel it too

‘Cause you know I belong with you

Look at where we’re going

Tell me what can I say

We’re tracing our footsteps

We’re going the same way

-Hanson "Madeline"

* * *

Chapter 13: Present

"Where are you taking me?" Lexi asked Ramsey for what felt like the hundredth time since they had been driving. She hadn’t thought much of it at first, but then as her mind registered the direction the car was taking them she began to get more suspicious.

For some reason, she had expected them to stay in Buckhead and have dinner at a fancy five star restaurant over candlelight. Perhaps serenade her with live classical music, red wine, and caviar. Show off his wealth to reel her in. She wasn’t sure what had triggered that idea beyond just the fact that she’d assumed that all people in Country Clubs went on ridiculously impressive dates. Jennifer, her college dorm mate, had told her many times about extravagant opulence displayed before her by men her parents had set her up on dates with. Lexi had always been wary of those types of stories and wondered if women actually succumbed to such antics. After one too many towels on Lexi’s dorm door confirmed that they did actually work as Jennifer proved time and time again. Lexi slowly became adjusted to the fact that lavishness was more like a prerequisite.

To be honest, she was almost relieved that she didn’t have to subject herself to another awkward situation such as what occurred at the Country Club. She hadn’t exactly wanted to go on this…outing with Ramsey, but after how well he had treated her she had given in. He had called it a date and she certainly couldn’t forget his words. He had smiled so brilliantly at her acceptance that she had almost been duped into believing she had made the right decision by going out with him. But how could she really feel like that? He had so many strikes against him already. Setting aside the kindness he had showed at his party, he was a member of a Country Club, he was related to Bekah, and clearly had no concern for others personal boundaries.

All in all, she figured this was a huge mistake.

Her brain was working in overdrive attempting to discern where he was taking her. His forced silence on the subject only made her more curious…and just a little bit tentative. She had really only known this guy for one day, and the only good quality she had recognized besides his charming good looks was that he hadn’t slept with her.

So maybe that was pretty big for guys, but she had blacked out and was entrusted into his care by his sister. Obviously that meant something to him or at least she hoped so.