Thoughtful (Thoughtless #1.5)(24)
Author: S.C. Stephens

She couldn’t seem to form any more words than that. So cute. I got the gist of what she was saying though, and I laughed as I told her, “Don’t worry about it. I can get more. You wouldn’t believe how many of those damn things Griffin made.”

I turned to leave the room, then looked back at Kiera. She was staring at my ass. When she realized she’d been caught, her cheeks went from rosy to bright red. Most girls I knew would devour me with their eyes and not give a shit if I noticed, but Kiera was always so embarrassed. Containing my laughter, I smiled and looked down. She was so damn adorable, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, I loved the way she looked at me.

“I’ll be right back,” I told her. I gave her another smile, then left the room to get another shirt. My grin was uncontainable as I bounded up the stairs. Thank the fucking stars up above…we weren’t going to talk about it. We were going to sweep the incident under the rug, where it belonged.

While we weren’t mentioning last night, I wasn’t sure where we stood on…well, cuddling was probably the best way to put it. Part of me wanted it to stop; the rest of me couldn’t stop. As long as she was okay with me holding her, I wanted her in my arms.

It took her most of the day to approach me, but when I settled on the couch to watch a little TV before rehearsal, she stared at me with longing. Since I needed her touch and we hadn’t even hugged today, I held my arm out and patted the couch in invitation. Please.

She gave me a breathtaking grin and snuggled into my side. I closed my eyes, content. Nothing had changed. We could still do this. We were fine. Everything was fine.

Our routine continued like nothing strange had happened between us. I did notice a small change though. Our touches seemed more…intimate. When we hugged, my hands rested farther down her hips, her breasts pressed more firmly against my chest, her fingers ran up and down my neck, and her head was angled toward me, not away from me. I loved every second of it though, so I wasn’t about to complain.

As usual, she was still asleep when I left my room the next Tuesday. I pictured her sprawled out on Joey’s bed. Or maybe she was curled up into a lonely ball? I wished I could open the door to look, to watch her as she slept, but that would be weird if she caught me. Kind of creepy actually. With a sigh, I headed downstairs. There were just certain aspects of life that we’d never get to share; sleeping together was one of them.

To perk myself up, I sang while I made a pot of coffee. I started out singing a popular song on the radio, but by the time the coffee was done, I was singing a D-Bags song. It was typically a fast song, but I sang it slow, like a ballad. It actually worked really well that way. I’d have to tell Evan to add it to our acoustic playlist.

Kiera stumbled into the kitchen while I was singing. She stopped and listened like she’d never heard me sing before. I loved the way she really listened to me when I sang, like she was trying to absorb the meaning as well as the words. Most people I met didn’t bother.

She was leaning against the counter in an unconsciously appealing way. It had been hours since I’d had her in my arms, and since I was still suffering from a bit of melancholy, I found I couldn’t wait another moment to touch her. Reaching out, I pulled her to me for a dance. She gasped in surprise, then her face brightened. She’d been a little off this morning too. Wanting to make her smile, I twirled her away, then back to me, then dipped her. It worked, she laughed. It gave me a thrill that I could make us both a little happier.

I slipped both arms around her waist, and she let out a happy sigh as she laced her arms around my neck. There was nothing quite like dancing with her. The way our bodies moved together, the way she felt in my arms…I could have done this all day, but I knew I had to end the moment sooner or later. I didn’t need a repeat of “porn night,” and I had a feeling if I slow danced like this with her for too long, the urge to kiss her would overwhelm me. Good intentions or not, I was only human, after all.

I stopped moving and Kiera stopped too. We gazed at each other, and my heart started beating harder. She was so close to me, and she felt so good. Her lips would feel even better. Her fingers were threading through my hair, sending bolts of delight down my body. Did she realize how amazing that was?

As if she could hear my thoughts, she removed her fingers from my hair and rested them on my shoulders. Knowing we were heading toward dangerous territory again, I quietly began my question. “I know you’d rather have Denny here…” She stiffened in my arms and I cursed myself for bringing him up. I had to though. We both needed the reminder. “—But could I take you to school on your first day?”

She seemed flustered, by either me or my question, I didn’t know which. She was at ease when she answered me though. “I guess you’ll do,” she said with a playful smirk.

Laughing, I squeezed her, then let her go; it was really hard to let her go. Needing a task, I stepped to the cabinet and got a mug down for her. “That’s not something I’m used to women saying,” I muttered, trying to keep up the lightness.

Kiera took it the wrong way though. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

I laughed again as I started pouring coffee for her. Did she actually think she’d offended me? It would take a lot more than that. I glanced in her direction. “I’m just kidding, Kiera.” My eyes returned to her mug. “Well, kind of.” That really wasn’t something I heard from women. In a twisted way, it was kind of refreshing to hear it.

When it was time, I drove Kiera to class. She was a bundle of nerves, worse than her first day at Pete’s. If she could only see what I saw when I looked at her—beauty, grace, humor, intelligence—she wouldn’t be nervous at all about school. She’d walk into her classroom like she owned it.

Kiera looked ill when I stopped the car. I couldn’t drop her off and make her walk to class that way. She might actually throw up, and that was an embarrassment she didn’t need on the first day. I was pretty sure I could keep her calm enough to at least prevent puking, so I cracked open my door and hopped out of the car.

Her expression was bewildered as she watched me walk around to her side. When I opened her door for her, she crooked a grin. “I think I can handle that.” She nodded at the door as she stood from the car.

I laughed as I grabbed her hand. I knew she was able. Willing, now that was another story. Smiling, I indicated the building where her class was. “Come on.”

She looked up at me, curious. “And where are you going?”

I laughed as I looked down at her. “I’m walking you to class…obviously.”

Like she felt I was being unreasonable, she rolled her eyes; the gesture was clearly from embarrassment though, not irritation. “You don’t have to. I can manage.”

“Maybe I want to,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze. We approached the building and I opened the door and held it for her. As she walked through, I added, “It’s not like my mornings are earth-shatteringly busy or anything. I’d probably just be napping.” Or thinking of you.

She laughed as she looked back at me. “Why do you get up so early then?”

I let out a wry laugh as I walked beside her down the hall. “It’s not by choice…trust me.” No, my dad had ingrained my sleep patterns in me long ago. Now, I usually woke up around the same time every day, and if I didn’t, if I slept in for some reason, more often than not, I woke up in a panic, half expecting to see him at the foot of my bed. Even though he was long gone, the irrational fear remained. “I would rather sleep in than function on four or five hours a night.”

She told me I should nap and I told her I would. And I might, actually. I could use the refresher, and it would make the time fly by. We’d reached her classroom, and I held this door open for her as well. She gave me an odd, calculating expression, and I wondered if she thought I was going to walk her to her seat. I hadn’t planned on it…but I would if she wanted me to. “Would you like me to walk you in?” I asked, only half teasing.

She released my hand and pushed me back. “No,” she playfully responded. She stared at me for a moment, her expression turning serious and adoring. I loved seeing that look on her. “Thank you, Kellan.” Leaning over, she gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. I loved that too. It made that warmth I felt whenever she was near grow stronger.

I looked down, then peeked up at her. “You’re welcome.” I’d do anything for you. “I’ll pick you up later.” She started to protest, but I quickly cut her off with a look. After she consented to me giving her a ride home, I checked out her classroom full of studious, young eager beavers. Telling her to have fun, I turned and headed out. Curious, I looked back to see if she was watching me leave. She was. That made my chest squirm, but in a good way. I held my hand up in a wave. Being at school with her wasn’t so bad…I could get used to this.

I ended up taking her to school every day that week. By Friday, I was thoroughly enjoying our new routine, and while I missed her during the day, seeing the gratitude on her face when I walked her to class in the morning and the excitement in her eyes when I picked her up in the afternoon made the time apart worth it. For a minute, I could pretend that I meant everything to her, because she was certainly starting to mean everything to me. And if you pretend something long enough, it eventually becomes real. Right?