Thoughtful (Thoughtless #1.5)(40)
Author: S.C. Stephens

I had to smile at her body’s betraying actions, and at her choice of destination. Her shift wasn’t for a few hours. It was pretty clear that she was only going there to make sure she wasn’t alone in the house with me.

After opening her door with dramatic flair, I walked around to my side. Kiera was staring at me as I sat down. She tensed up when we pulled away from school, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she thought we would do along the way. I’d do anything she asked.

She suddenly glanced at the backseat and her cheeks filled with color. Was she picturing us back there? There was plenty of room, and I could make her very comfortable, if she wanted me to. Curious what she would say, I laughingly asked her, “You okay?”

She faced the front and squeaked out, “Yep.” Sure. Liar.

“Good,” I said, letting her lie go.

We stopped at a red light and I looked over to give her a friendly smile. She started breathing so hard she was almost panting. I was certain she wanted me to touch her, she was nearly bursting at the seams for it. It turned me on, but I resisted. I didn’t want her to know when it was coming. I wanted to catch her unaware so I could drive her over the edge, so she’d stop this charade and let me in.

When the light turned green, Kiera turned to stare out the window. She seemed like she was deep in thought. I wondered if she was thinking about me. Since now seemed like a good time for it, I put my hand on her knee and slid it midway up her inner thigh. She closed her eyes, and I felt fire coursing through me as my desire for her kicked into overdrive.

Her breaths became long, slow, like she was forcing herself to calm down. She kept her eyes closed the entire trip; they were still closed when I parked the car. There was so much I wanted to do to her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to lay her down. I wanted to make her cry out with need. I wanted to whisper how much she meant to me, how much I loved her. I wanted everything.

I unbuckled my seat belt and slid across the seat to her. The sides of our bodies pressed together, and her slow breaths increased. She was so ready for me. I was ready for her too. I shifted my hand so that it was all the way up her thigh, my pinkie resting against the inner seam of her jeans—so close to where I wanted to be. A lascivious sigh escaped her as her mouth dropped open. God, she wanted me, but she was still resisting this. She had to accept us before we could make love again. I’d have to settle for just teasing her right now.

I ran my cheek along her jaw. I could feel her struggling to not cave in to me, to not turn her head and find my lips. I kissed the very corner of her jaw, then lightly ran my tongue up to her ear. She was trembling, I was throbbing. I nibbled on her ear, wishing it were her nipple. “Ready?” I breathed.

Her eyes flashed open and locked on mine. Her breath was heavy with desire, but she was clearly panicked by my question. Her gaze lowered to my mouth as she turned her face to mine. Mere inches separated our lips now. It took a tremendous amount of willpower, but I made myself not kiss her. I needed her to cave before I kissed her, but God, not doing it was difficult.

Shifting my focus, I unbuckled her seat belt. Knowing this was nowhere near what she expected, a playful laugh escaped me as I pulled away. Sure enough, my tease frustrated her. Irritated, she shoved open her door, then slammed it closed. I couldn’t help but grin at the annoyed, embarrassed look on her face before she stormed off toward the bar.

Sorry, Kiera, but if you want more, you have to ask for it. And this time, you have to mean it.

Kiera practically attacked me the next morning, but not in the way I wanted her to. She cut off my cheerful greeting by ramming her finger in my chest. Having her initiate contact between us made me smile as I returned the coffeepot to its base.

“You need to back off!” she demanded, her face a mixture of desire and irritation.

Grabbing her hand, I pulled her into my arms, where she belonged. “I haven’t done anything to you…recently.” But I’d love to, if you’d just let me.

She made a show of trying to get away from me, but it wasn’t enough to break my grasp. She’d have to try a lot harder to push me away. I wasn’t going anywhere anymore. Her lips pursed in an expression of annoyance, she glanced at her arms trapped under mine. “Uhhh…this?”

A small laugh left me as I kissed her jaw and nuzzled against her. She felt so good in my arms. Amazing. “We do this all the time. Sometimes we do more…” We could do more now. I could take you upstairs, undress you, ravish you. I could make you happy.

Kiera wasn’t on the same page as me. Flustered, she sputtered, “The car?”

I laughed harder at that response. “That was all you. You were getting all…excited on me, just sitting there.” Squatting down, I met her gorgeous hazel eyes. “Was I supposed to just ignore that?” How could I possibly ignore you?

Her face filled with color, and she turned away from me with a sigh. She knew I was right. She knew she wanted me. She kept avoiding the truth, but that didn’t make it go away.

I knew I should be honest with her, tell her everything in my heart, but I couldn’t go there. Just the thought of opening up, letting her in, made my insides twist into painful knots. I’d rather stick myself in the eye with a dozen needles. No, teasing her was all I was comfortable with, so that was what I did.

“Hmmm…do you want me to stop?” I traced a line from her hair to her cheek, down her neck, right between her breasts, and down to her hips. Like a flower turning toward the sun, her body opened under my touch. It was so subtle, she probably wasn’t even aware she was arching toward me, but I knew women. I could read their body language better than my own. And Kiera’s was screaming Take me.

Her eyes closed as her breath quickened. “Yes,” she breathed. Exactly, Kiera. Say yes to me.

In a low voice, I told her, “You don’t seem so sure…do I make you uncomfortable?”

I ran my finger along the inside of her waistband and watched her face while she struggled to not let me see how much she enjoyed it. I was sure she was ready for me. I’d just have to move my hand a bit and I’d feel it. God, I wanted to. I wanted her so much.

“Yes,” she whispered. Her voice was almost pleading more than rejecting.

Leaning in, I whispered in her ear, “Do you want me inside you again?”

Her answer was instant. And surprising. “Yes…”

Her eyes snapped open as she came out of the mini-trance I’d coaxed her into. Her eyes were wide, like she was terrified I’d take her up on her suggestion without giving her a second to reconsider. “No! I meant no!”

I couldn’t help but smile at the expression on her face. She was flushed, from either embarrassment or desire. I tried not to laugh at her, but when anger flooded her face and she repeated, “I meant no, Kellan,” one brief laugh escaped me.

“Yes, I know—I know exactly what you meant.” You want to say yes, but you’re not ready.

When I saw Kiera again that afternoon, when she got back from school, she seemed spent. She was sitting on the couch, staring at the TV, but she obviously wasn’t watching it. She didn’t seem to notice me standing at the edge of the room, staring at her. Definitely tired then. She usually knew the instant I was looking at her. As I approached the couch, I wondered if I was to blame for her exhaustion. I hoped not.

Without looking, she started to stand when she felt the cushion compress beside her, like she knew it was me and she didn’t want to be anywhere near me. Her reluctance combined with her stubbornness was amusing. Grabbing her arm, I pulled her back down. Things wouldn’t move forward between us if she ignored me.

She looked my way with narrowed eyes, obviously unhappy that I was forcing us to spend time together. She crossed her arms over her chest, further letting me know just how put out she was. Did she realize how cute she was right now? She looked away from my adoring smile. Shaking my head, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She immediately stiffened but didn’t pull away. Until I started pulling her toward my lap—then she jerked away like I’d poured ice water down her back.

I startled at her sudden movement and icy glare. I just wanted her to rest on me, like she used to. I wasn’t sure why she was having such a violent reaction until I understood what she thought I’d been implying. I started laughing, even more amused.

Pointing to my lap, I assured her that I meant nothing sordid by the gesture. “Lie down…you look tired.” Not able to help myself, I playfully added, “But if you wanted to, I wouldn’t stop you.”

Frowning, she elbowed me in the ribs. At least she realized I was joking. I grunted at the minor pain, then pulled her back to my lap. “So stubborn,” I muttered as she finally let me lay her down.

She twisted to her back, and I gazed at her and stroked her dark hair. She was so beautiful, and so unaware of it. She was unaware of a lot of things. Like how much she meant to me, how different she was from every other girl I’d ever met, how I’d do absolutely anything for her. Even leave, if she changed her mind and asked me to. I hoped she never asked me to.

“See…that wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked her. We could have this every day again, if you’d just let me back in…