Thoughtful (Thoughtless #1.5)(81)
Author: S.C. Stephens

I pulled away from her and her eyes finally opened. She grabbed my arm, stopping me. I felt my eyes stinging as I looked down at her. Was this the moment she broke my heart again? Could I stomach it? I really didn’t feel like I could. A tear in my eye trickled down my skin. Kiera brushed it away, then cupped my cheek and pulled me closer. Our lips met, and my heart soared and cracked.

“Kiera…” I pulled away. I needed words from her right now, not actions.

Her eyes were as wet as mine as she stared up at me. She swallowed a harsh lump in her throat, then she finally spoke. “You were always right—we’re not friends. We’re so much more. I want to be with you, Kellan. I want to be yours. I am yours.”

She wasn’t saying it as directly as I had…but I understood. She did love me. She didn’t want to, but she did, and she didn’t want to fight it anymore. She was mine. Finally.

Chapter 26

Here’s My Heart

I moved over her again, returned my mouth to hers. I kissed her with everything I had, my entire soul, but still…I held a part of me back. She could change her mind at any second. She could crush me with a word. I wanted to be prepared for her rejection; maybe then it wouldn’t hurt so much.

My body trembled with restraint, and every place she touched me burned with painful need. She was everything I wanted, everything I needed, everything I hoped for. She ran her fingers down my back, then swept my shirt over my head. I ran my fingers up her skin, taking her shirt with them. I wanted us to be laid bare, no barriers between us. Not anymore. But I didn’t want to spook Kiera, so I kept my movements teasingly slow.

Her fingers caressed my bare back, then swept along my side, to the scar I had along my ribs from when I had protected her. The healing wound was a small price to pay for her. I’d gladly pay it again. More if I had to. I’d give my life for her.

I felt her exposed shoulders, let the pads of my fingers run across her bra and down to her waist. I wanted so much more, but I didn’t know if she was ready. I didn’t know if she’d 100 percent meant what she’d said.

Shifting my weight, I brought my hands to the waistband of her jeans. I desperately wanted this, but I couldn’t handle another no. I’d explode. I needed some sort of assurance from her that this was okay. As if she heard my musings, Kiera whispered, “I’m yours…don’t stop.”

Her hips wriggled in a way that let me know, without a doubt, that she wanted this. She was mine. I had nothing to fear. There wouldn’t be a rejection this time.

With a relieved exhale, I began working on her jeans in earnest. Yes, this was going to happen. We were going to give ourselves to each other. Everything was going to be fine.

Kiera unfastened my jeans while I did hers. Once hers were undone, I started pulling them off her. Adoration radiating from my chest in waves of happiness, I murmured, “Kiera, I love you,” then placed a soft kiss on her neck.

As I was nuzzling against her neck, I heard her quiet voice, “Kellan, wait…just a min—”

I didn’t even let her finish saying our code phrase for “back off.” “Kiera…” I groaned. Disappointment warred with grief in my body as I relaxed my hold on her jeans and slumped against her. Had she really done this to me again? “Oh…my…God. Are you serious?” I rocked my head against her shoulder; at the same time I was both shocked and not surprised at all. “Please don’t do this again. I can’t take it.”

Her voice was apologetic, but firm. “No, I’m not…but—”

Incredulous, I lifted my head to look at her. “But?” The sudden stop in the proceedings was starting to give me a stomachache. It was an ache I was getting all too familiar with when it came to Kiera. Irritation boiled a path through my disappointment. “You do realize that if you keep doing this to my body, I will never be able to have children?”

Kiera pressed her lips together, but she couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped. Pulling back to look at her, I frowned. I really hadn’t been kidding. “I’m glad you find that funny…”

Still laughing, humor and happiness lightening her eyes to a peaceful shade of sea-green, she ran a finger down my cheek and said, “If we are going to do this…if I’m going to be with you…it’s not going to be on the floor in the back room of Pete’s.”

Her eyes scanned the area and I relaxed. She wasn’t rejecting me, just our current location, and I could understand that. This wasn’t exactly the most romantic, or comfortable, place in the world. I could wait to be with her again, but I couldn’t resist a chance to tease her.

With a soft kiss, I whispered, “Now you object to being with me on a dirty floor?” Giving her a fake frown that I hoped was charming, I added, “Did you…did you just get me to pour my heart out to you…so you could get me naked again?”

Kiera laughed, then gently grabbed my face. “God, I missed you. I missed that.”

Content, I stroked her stomach as I gazed at her. “Missed what?”

“You…your humor, your smile, your touch, your…everything.”

There was so much tenderness in her voice, it seared me. “I missed you so much, Kiera.”

I watched the emotions sliding over her face, then I leaned down and kissed her. An idea struck me and I pulled back to look at her with a playful grin. “You know…there are other options for this room besides the floor.”

Her smile matched mine. She was enjoying this. “Really?” she asked.

“Yeah…” Looking around the room, I imagined all the various places and positions Kiera and I could use to discover each other. “Table…chair…shelf…wall?” My smile was devilish when I returned my gaze to her. All of those places sounded fabulous to me, and at the same time, none of them were good enough for her. I wanted to lay her down on a bed. Nothing else would do.

With a laugh and a shake of her head, Kiera murmured, “Just kiss me.”

Now here was something I could do. “Yes, ma’am.” Moving my lips to taste the soft skin of her neck, I muttered, “Tease.”

Her response was equally playful. “Whore.”

She kissed my still stinging cheek as a throaty laugh escaped me. A light knock filtered through the room, but I wasn’t about to stop what I was doing. While Kiera let out a satisfied noise, I lightly ran the tip of my tongue up her throat and over her chin. That was when the door burst open.

Startled, I lifted my head to see Evan stepping into the room. “Jesus, Evan…you scared the shit out of me!” I said with a laugh.

Evan had his hands over his eyes as he closed the door behind him. “Uh, sorry, man. I know you two are…uh, I need to talk to you, Kellan.”

Evan dropped his hand and looked away. I was shielding Kiera’s body with my own, so I was sure he couldn’t see much, but out of respect, he wasn’t looking. I appreciated that, but I didn’t see what he possibly needed to talk to me about now. Surely it could wait.

“Your timing kind of stinks, man.”

He flicked a quick glance at me before averting his eyes again. I felt Kiera clinging to me even tighter; she was embarrassed, and probably hating this exchange. Evan shook his head. “Sorry…but you’re going to thank my timing in about ten seconds.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but I was sure he didn’t need to be here. “Really, Evan, can’t this wait, like ten—” Kiera nudged my ribs. When I glanced down, her cheeks were rosy, but she had a playful gleam in her eye. Looking back up at Evan, I changed my answer, “Twenty minutes?” Kiera giggled.

“Denny’s here.” Evan’s tone was flat, ominous, and his words echoed around the room.

While Kiera whispered, “What?” I sat up. Straddling Kiera’s hips, I let out a curse as I handed her her shirt. She quickly slipped it on. Why did Denny have to show up now? The one person we needed to stay away…

Evan finally looked our way, and held my gaze. “Unless you want tonight to get…even more interesting, Kiera needs to leave and you need to stay and talk to me.”

Nodding, I found my shirt. He was right, of course. Denny didn’t deserve to find out like this…to see us like this. Slipping my shirt on, I looked back at Evan. “Thank you…”

Evan’s smile was sad. “See…I knew you’d thank me.”

I stood up, then helped Kiera to her feet. She started hyperventilating while we adjusted our clothes. I knew she was freaking out. I was freaking out. But I put my hands on her shoulders to calm her down. He wasn’t finding out today…today we were okay. “It’s fine…it will be fine.”

All peace and playfulness were gone from her—her eyes were wide, her breaths fast. She looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It reminded me how much Denny meant to her. To us. “But the whole bar…they all saw that, they’ll be talking. He’ll know something.”

She had a point, but in her state, I couldn’t let her know that. “He’ll know we had a fight…that’s it.” I could hear Evan shifting his weight; he was antsy, ready for Kiera to leave. The longer she stayed, the better the chances were that we’d be discovered. “You should go, before he comes back here looking for you.”