Thoughtful (Page 43)

Thoughtful (Thoughtless #1.5)(43)
Author: S.C. Stephens

With a defeated expression, she looked at me again. “You’re kind of man-flavored candy to my sister.”

I laughed. Guess her sister was interested. And by Kiera’s description, her sister was far more aggressive than she was. Well, it didn’t matter much to me. Kiera was the only woman around in my eyes. “Ahhh…so I’m pretty much going to be attacked, right?” I laughed again, picturing having to keep Kiera’s sister at bay. This would be interesting.

Kiera wasn’t as amused as I was. “It’s not funny, Kellan.”

I gave her a warm smile. “It kind of is, Kiera.” The sister I wanted couldn’t give all of herself to me, but the one I wasn’t interested in was already willing to rip her panties off. I found that highly amusing, in a twisted way.

Kiera seemed to sadden more and more. Even though she looked away, I saw tears forming in her eyes. I still had no idea why she was so upset. What did it matter if her sister came out here? What did it matter if she was all over me? My heart was Kiera’s alone. Fully and completely.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, I murmured, “Hey…” Gently grabbing her chin, I made her look at me. “What do you want me to do?” I’ll do whatever you want. Just ask.

She looked like she was fighting with herself, wrestling with whether or not to be honest with me. I wanted her to. I wanted to understand the problem here. I couldn’t do the right thing in her eyes if I didn’t know what it was. “I want you to not ‘do’ her. I don’t want you to even touch her.”

She glared at me, and I began to understand. She was jealous. She thought I’d sleep with her sister, since I couldn’t sleep with her. As if I would want a pale imitation of the real thing. As if I could stomach being with anyone else, when Kiera was all that existed to me. I wasn’t sure how long I could go without sex…but I knew how long I could go without Kiera. And it wasn’t very long. I wasn’t going to do anything that might push her away. Touching her sister…wasn’t even a thought in my brain.

“Okay, Kiera,” I said, brushing her cheek.

Not understanding the depth of my agreement, her eyes filled with tears. “Promise me, Kellan.”

I gave her as reassuring a smile as I could. “I promise, Kiera. I won’t sleep with her, okay?” You’re the only one I want. It took her a moment, but she finally nodded and let me pull her in for a hug.

You’re the only one I’ll ever want.

Chapter 15

Heaven and Hell

The last several days with Kiera had been amazing. It was just like it had been before, but different. Before, we’d flirted, but we’d never acknowledged the flirting. We’d never even talked about it. Now though, there was innuendo in the air, and I was able to hold her, flirt with her, and tease her about it. It changed things, amplified our relationship. There was nothing innocent about our flirting now, but Kiera seemed comfortable with it, so I didn’t point out to her that there was enough sexual tension between us to power a small city. She had to know anyway, she just didn’t want to admit it.

Staring at my ceiling, I replayed the dream I’d just awoken from. Kiera had been in the kitchen, making me a lunch before I went off to work. After handing me the bag, she’d looked deep into my eyes and told me, “I love you so much, Kellan. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I wanted her to say that to me for real, so badly. Smiling into the darkness, I whispered, “I love you too, Kiera. More than you know.”

It was really early in the morning, and I hadn’t had much sleep anyway, but when I closed my eyes, all I saw was Kiera. Anxious to see her again, I couldn’t get back to sleep. When I finally gave up trying, I headed downstairs and got to work making a pot of coffee. My smile widened as the dark brown liquid began to fill the carafe. Seeing it, smelling it, reminded me of her. It reminded me of making love to her, reminded me of my dream. Such a nice fantasy…I wished it were real.

The pot was nearly to the top when warm arms wrapped around my waist. I inhaled a deep breath, taking her in, then twisted to face her. She gave me a tired but happy smile.

“Mornin’.”

Her smile grew at hearing my greeting. “Good morning.” She pressed her head to my chest and I pulled her into me. Closing my eyes, I savored her—her scent, her softness, her warmth. I wanted to remember everything, just in case this was a dream too.

We didn’t pull apart until we heard the shower running upstairs. With a small sigh, Kiera pulled back. There was a slight mar on her forehead. Guilt. I wished she didn’t feel that way, but I understood why she did. A part of me did too. We were both bastards, playing this game, sneaking around behind Denny’s back, skirting near a line we’d already crossed and shouldn’t cross again. We should both stop what we were doing…but I already knew I couldn’t. I was in too deep.

While I prepared mugs for us, Kiera started making tea for Denny. It was sweet of her, but it was a cruel reminder that my dream was just that—a dream. Watching her stabbed like a knife, so I focused on our drinks instead.

Moments later, Denny came downstairs. I gave him a friendly smile and greeting as I sat at the table with my coffee. Kiera was leaning against the counter, drinking hers. She was keeping her distance from me so Denny wouldn’t be suspicious. She handed him his tea, and he told her, “Thanks, babe,” as he leaned in for a kiss.

The look on her face as she gazed up at him wrenched me, but I couldn’t stop staring. There was love in her eyes for him; there was no question who had her heart. But when he angled his head to playfully nuzzle her neck, her eyes turned to me, and oddly enough, her expression didn’t change. Well, maybe her smile slipped some, and troubled sadness filled her eyes. She looked sorry, but I wasn’t sure if she was feeling that toward me or Denny, or both of us. It was confusing, painful. I gave her a brief Don’t worry about me smile, then concentrated on my coffee.

As Kiera sat down, Denny told her, “I may have to work really late tonight. Max has a job that he needs my help with.” Denny said the word “job” oddly and Kiera frowned, like she was sure the task was something trivial, something beneath Denny’s skills. Stuff like that really irritated her. Seeing her expression, Denny quickly added, “You’ll be working anyway, so I didn’t think you’d mind if I said I’d help him…right?”

Kiera opened her mouth, seeming like she wanted to object, but she had no real reason to. After flashing a glance at me, she murmured, “Right…sounds good.” She seemed guilty again after she said it, and I resisted the urge to hold her hand.

I was all smiles as she slid into my car later. Driving her to and from school was almost my favorite part of the day. I loved seeing her across the seat from me. It felt so right. She smiled as she closed the door, equally happy. As I started the car, I asked her, “Do I get to walk with you today?” She’d made me stay behind the last time I drove her.

She pursed her lips in thought, then shook her head. “No, I think it would be better if you stayed in the car.”

I sighed, but left it at that. She had her reasons, I guess. But I really enjoyed walking with her, and it was innocent, like she wanted. I’d keep trying. I dropped her off with a “Have fun. I’ll see you later,” then headed to the grocery store for supplies.

When I was done shopping, I went home to work for a little bit. There was a song Evan and I were working on that was nearly finished. Evan was busy arranging the music for it, and a couple of the lines I’d had didn’t fit now. His melodies were better than my lyrics though, so I was switching it up to fit his stuff.

I worked at the kitchen table until my vision started going in and out and I started nodding off. Guess three hours of sleep wasn’t enough. Putting away my notebook, I shuffled over to the couch. I had a little time to rest before picking up Kiera. After turning on the TV, I stretched out on the cushions. My lumpy beast wasn’t the most comfortable couch in the world, but it got the job done.

Just as I was starting to fall asleep, the front door opened and surprise washed through me. Kiera was home; she shouldn’t be done with school yet. “Hey, you’re back early. I was going to pick you up,” I said as she walked into the living room.

She stepped over to the couch, and I sat up and patted the space between my legs so she’d sit close to me. “You look tired,” she commented. “Everything okay?” She nestled herself between my legs and leaned her back against my chest. Yes, I’m more than okay. I’m in heaven.

Holding her tight, I played with her hair. “I’m fine…just a late night, didn’t sleep well.”

Turning her head around, she gave me a playful grin. “Oh. Feeling guilty about something?”

I laughed at her remark, and gave her a squeeze. “About you? Every day.”

I sighed. There was too much truth in that statement, and I didn’t want to think about it. Intent on changing our focus, I pushed her forward a little bit. She resisted, saying my name and turning to face me, but I clamped my hands on her shoulders and made her face straight. I needed her back for what I wanted to do.